Venting If 'normal' people felt the way I do, they would want to kill themselves too

[plum!]

I've shed so many tears just wishing to be a normal person with normal feelings.

Every single day feels like torture, even the good days. I don't get to enjoy things the way they do, I don't get to relate to people the way they do. Do I really have to live out my life like this? If I end it, my mom would be sad, but if I don't, I just have to be a terrible, unlikable person until I die of old age.

It's not my fault, I know I'm awful to have around, but I wish I could cbt and for them not to hate me. I just want them to understand.

 

[Phenylhydroxylamine]

I used to be in this exact situation. It's taken a few years, but slowly I was able to make them aware that one day I will decide to exit by my own hand. It started by me just bringing up things with them about how horrible nature really is to animals and whatnot, just generally expressing my negative views on life to them. Of course I got all the nonsense tripe like "You're just being negative", but I always just respond "No, I'm just observing what's going on". Anyways, you can slowly warm up those around you to reality, because telling them out of nowhere "I want to kill myself" generally elicits a knee-jerk from them haha.

Also, watching inmendham really helped me a lot. He's a YouTuber who's been making videos FOR EVER on YouTube, and the way he delivers information about reality just really clicked with my brain. Here's his latest video for example:

 

[divinemistress36]

Society would collapse if most people felt like we did

 

[sensitiveguy]

I think it's depression

 

[lost_ange2211]

I think it would be enough to live a day out of our point if view.. then they would understand what we are really going through: the pain, the emotions , the thoughts. Stuff that can't be understood by words only.

 

[Ligottian]

Nah. There are parties to attend. Sports to worship. Gender reveals to go to. And wonderful holidays.

 

[Daryl72]

I've shed so many tears just wishing to be a normal person with normal feelings.

Every single day feels like torture, even the good days. I don't get to enjoy things the way they do, I don't get to relate to people the way they do. Do I really have to live out my life like this? If I end it, my mom would be sad, but if I don't, I just have to be a terrible, unlikable person until I die of old age.

It's not my fault, I know I'm awful to have around, but I wish I could cbt and for them not to hate me. I just want them to understIntotslly

I've shed so many tears just wishing to be a normal person with normal feelings.

Every single day feels like torture, even the good days. I don't get to enjoy things the way they do, I don't get to relate to people the way they do. Do I really have to live out my life like this? If I end it, my mom would be sad, but if I don't, I just have to be a terrible, unlikable person until I die of old age.

It's not my fault, I know I'm awful to have around, but I wish I could cbt and for them not to hate me. I just want them to understand.

Totally understand and feel about the same