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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,994
Well actually killing yourself is so horrible with all the SI. How would it actually feel to hire a hitman? There are people out there who did that. But it feels so unsafe. First, it is illegal.
Then who knows whether you won't get scammed. It seems to be a business where scamming is pretty easy. But my bigger issue is who knows whether the hitman is no psychopath who tortures you beforehand. When I read about insane people who exploit suicidal people online I have read so often they claim to support people in dying who want to die. Especially, when there are meetings in real life rapings, torture etc. are not seldom. I would never meet with a stranger online who offered me help in dying. There are way too sick psychopaths out there who enjoy that. Who get sexually aroused by that.

I think I would hire shooting me in my head from behind without noticing it. Lol. But for that I would have to leave my room from time to time. I am not sure which time span I would choose. Maybe within 1 or 2 years. Practically to avoid scams the time span had to be shorter though. I would be fine if someone blew off my head. But wouldn't people be a little bit disturbed who had to witness it? I think my family would be shocked.

I know the whole scenario is unrealistic. But I simply don't want to go through the stages of acute suicidality again. Yes I want to die. But planning your suicide is a hell ride. It is in itself hell on earth at least for me. I want to take a break of consciousness without that.
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Global Mod · Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
1,948
If a hitman was all those things then I would 100% get one to kill me. No SI can stop you nor the attempt of dying failing can happen against a professional killer.

Tho if I could at least know a hitman isn't a scam and I have whatever amount of money needed for it, I would probably take the risk of them torturing me before they kill me as I would say getting through that torture would be worth dying for me instead of living the rest of my life.
 
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patheticparasite

patheticparasite

turn my pc on, turn my brain off
Feb 21, 2025
60
No, I want to push the button myself.

However, if it was legal, safe and reliable, why a hitman? Seems kind of excessive compared to a doctor who just gives me a shot. For the benefit of not seeing it coming? I'd constantly have to worry about how my dead body would look in this very moment. That'd fuck up my daily routine. Thanks, but no.
 
Doll Steak

Doll Steak

Student
May 31, 2025
136
I'd like to say yes but probably not. I'd be way to paranoid and it wouldn't be a peaceful final moment of living.

I'd rather I just pull the trigger myself, skip the suspense and the looming thought that I will die any second and it might be painful or they might mess up, the trauma I may cause...
 
H

HarryCobean

Student
Apr 12, 2024
123
It would have to be really cheap. I do wonder whether any of the people who hate me have tried taking out a hit on me and then realised that you can't exactly complain to the authorities if the hitman takes your money and doesn't deliver.
 
FoxSauce

FoxSauce

Emotional unstable like and IKEA table
Aug 23, 2024
609
Nah I'm not having my final days living in absolute anxiety thank you
 
Pluto

Pluto

Cat Extremist
Dec 27, 2020
5,224
hitman-cat.gif
 
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T

TBONTB

Experienced
May 31, 2025
210
Well actually killing yourself is so horrible with all the SI. How would it actually feel to hire a hitman? There are people out there who did that. But it feels so unsafe. First, it is illegal.
Then who knows whether you won't get scammed. It seems to be a business where scamming is pretty easy. But my bigger issue is who knows whether the hitman is no psychopath who tortures you beforehand. When I read about insane people who exploit suicidal people online I have read so often they claim to support people in dying who want to die. Especially, when there are meetings in real life rapings, torture etc. are not seldom. I would never meet with a stranger online who offered me help in dying. There are way too sick psychopaths out there who enjoy that. Who get sexually aroused by that.

I think I would hire shooting me in my head from behind without noticing it. Lol. But for that I would have to leave my room from time to time. I am not sure which time span I would choose. Maybe within 1 or 2 years. Practically to avoid scams the time span had to be shorter though. I would be fine if someone blew off my head. But wouldn't people be a little bit disturbed who had to witness it? I think my family would be shocked.

I know the whole scenario is unrealistic. But I simply don't want to go through the stages of acute suicidality again. Yes I want to die. But planning your suicide is a hell ride. It is in itself hell on earth at least for me. I want to take a break of consciousness without that.
This is a delightful fantasy. Like so many fantasies it does the job of getting us out of the challenges of reality. Theres a lot of other "quick exit" fantasies too...a car accident, a heart attack. So if I could make a fantasy come real I would first choose winning 100 million in the lottery. I think I could make enough of my problems go away with that But I also like the fantasy of a hired hitman making the way out easy for me.
 
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tanshakti

Absurdity of life
Jul 2, 2025
71
This is a delightful fantasy. Like so many fantasies it does the job of getting us out of the challenges of reality. Theres a lot of other "quick exit" fantasies too...a car accident, a heart attack. So if I could make a fantasy come real I would first choose winning 100 million in the lottery. I think I could make enough of my problems go away with that But I also like the fantasy of a hired hitman making the way out easy for me.
for me more like cardiac arrest in my sleep is my wish/fantasy, dont want stroke and be paralyzed:'(
 
D

dontwakemeup

Warlock
Nov 11, 2024
706
Well actually killing yourself is so horrible with all the SI. How would it actually feel to hire a hitman? There are people out there who did that. But it feels so unsafe. First, it is illegal.
Then who knows whether you won't get scammed. It seems to be a business where scamming is pretty easy. But my bigger issue is who knows whether the hitman is no psychopath who tortures you beforehand. When I read about insane people who exploit suicidal people online I have read so often they claim to support people in dying who want to die. Especially, when there are meetings in real life rapings, torture etc. are not seldom. I would never meet with a stranger online who offered me help in dying. There are way too sick psychopaths out there who enjoy that. Who get sexually aroused by that.

I think I would hire shooting me in my head from behind without noticing it. Lol. But for that I would have to leave my room from time to time. I am not sure which time span I would choose. Maybe within 1 or 2 years. Practically to avoid scams the time span had to be shorter though. I would be fine if someone blew off my head. But wouldn't people be a little bit disturbed who had to witness it? I think my family would be shocked.

I know the whole scenario is unrealistic. But I simply don't want to go through the stages of acute suicidality again. Yes I want to die. But planning your suicide is a hell ride. It is in itself hell on earth at least for me. I want to take a break of consciousness without that.
There was a movie about this same scenario. I can't remember the name, I'll try to google it. It was definitely a great movie. Also, since I love documentaires, there was one about this also. If anyone is interested just search YouTube. I believe his name is Armon Meis. I won't give the ending away but of course this is a true story. To answer your question, no I wouldn't hire a hitman because these situations have been proven not to go well.
 
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,986
No. That would really be relinquishing control of my own autonomy. I think ctb is really something that has to be done yourself.
 
Wolf Girl

Wolf Girl

Your friendly neighborhood suicidal wolf girl
Jun 12, 2024
313
No, that sounds terrifying, waiting for it to happen and hoping they keep the deal to make it quick.
 
VoidButterfly

VoidButterfly

Flitterby
May 17, 2025
98
I wouldn't just because I want to be certain when I do it, and not just have it spring on me at some opportunistic moment. I think that'd make every moment SI induced, and you'd more than likely die in fear.
 
T

TBONTB

Experienced
May 31, 2025
210
for me more like cardiac arrest in my sleep is my wish/fantasy, dont want stroke and be paralyzed:'(
Ah perfect, yes dying in sleep is perfect! I know one person that happened to. (But he suffered a lot of health problems before hand so probably wasn't that easy after all). Still...if I go tonight!!!
 

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