Discussion If I'm thinking of scenarios and how things are going to go down in my final days... Am I faking it?

[Mors927]

Sometimes I feel like such a fraud. Does a person who's really suicidal think about their final words to their friends and family for most of the day? Is it abnormal to obsess over death and how my final days are going to be for hours on end?

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I think the behavior is legitimate . Most are going to want to end life on their own terms and personal beliefs make many care about what will happen after with respect to asset distributions , family heartbreak etc

 

[Life_and_Death]

I don't see why that would mean you're faking it. Everyone has their own way of dealing with stuff.

 

[Mors927]

I don't see why that would mean you're faking it. Everyone has their own way of dealing with stuff.

I feel like a massive fraud in every aspect of my life, and then I think others perceive me as a fraud/liar. I've told myself I was going to CTB for many years, but didn't do it. I feel compelled to do it now, but I'm still feeling like a fucking fraud.

 

[ClownMe]

Absolutely they do! Or at least i do. I'm planning everything down to the second.

 

[WornOutLife]

I don't think it's abnormal at all.

What's more, I think that any person with common sense would think about all the possible scenarios such as "how will my friends and family react once I ctb? What do I need to leave things organized? Shall I write a note explaining that I don't a funeral? What if I fail? Is this method really gonna work?" and so on.

I'm deffo thinking of all the possibilities. After all, there's no turning back if we really go for "it".

 

[Storm225]

I have severe anxiety so I've thought about every possible way, what I would say and their reactions. I'm not a fraud, this anxiety does stop me from doing it and if I do something it's normally on impulse.

As said above that everyone has their own ways of dealing with and doesn't make your way any less valid. ❤

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide is such a big decision and it can be surreal and daunting to think about leaving this world, so I think it is normal to feel like that. Thoughts of the ctb process never leave my mind, I even dream about it.

 

[jscudd55]

yeah boss i do the same but i suffer from npd so everythings a big show to me anyway. i understand your feeling though i thought i was faking it for longest til i realized through every mood swing every moment even when i feel like a literal God i still wanted to. just sit alone for a bit and pretend no one would know if you died and if you still want to then youre not faking it.