I didn't take a loan, but I lived the good life on what I thought would be "my last weeks" and I wasted a lot of money. Turned out I couldn't overcome my survival instinct.
An expensive lesson to pay.
Not to mention that up until that point all of my big life decisions were based on the false assumption that I can commit suicide whenever I want. An assumption that almost ruined my life. Bear in mind that even the most of the best philosophers who hated life still lived till the end, probably because of the same reason.
I'm not saying you don't have what it takes, but if there's a chance that you don't, try not to mess up your life.