Venting If I test positive for herpes, I’m going to kill myself immediately.

[nattys5thtoenail]

My mom has a cold and she has cold sores on her lips currently, I'm extremely anxious because I've NEVER seen these on her or my dad (they broke up in 2012) and I've never had them. Most likely she shared a drink with a coworker when she goes out and has work parties. She told me she occasionally gets them when she's stressed or ill and how it's not herpes because she doesn't sleep around.

I'm angry because I absolutely HATE touching people and I hate sharing food and drinks, and she always questioned why I did that and gets angry because "YoU tHiNk IM dIrTy??"

anyways I'm going to try and look for a herpes test and if it tests positive I'm going to kill myself.

To be clear, I don't judge anyone who has herpes. But i personally cannot live with this, life already sucks, I can't have ADHD + suspected autism + Herpes all at the same time,I just can't.

I'm so heartbroken right now, even though I'm suicidal I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish before I died. I had dreams and things I wanted to do for the world. But now it's over. This is just too much.

Anyways, I'm going to be looking for suicide methods in the meantime.

 

[smh]

Please dont do that. Im here... idk

 

[dontwakemeup]

1st try to calm down and lets rationalize this. Do you currently have any symptoms? Usually your 1st outbreak is the worst and usually it's something you can't ignore. Perhaps we can start there. Just because you've been exposed doesn't mean you have the virus.

 

[TANETS]

It is very unlikely that herpes can be spread through drinks https://www.healthline.com/health/c...n the absence of an,has a very short lifespan. . My best of luck to you.

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

I caught a coldsore when I was 10 and had no flare ups for 20 years, then the flares started 3 times a year, then increased to monthly about a year ago, sometimes every 2 weeks. Frequent flares are due to being run down, your mum is right. If your immune system is weak, you'll get them regularly. It is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, a lot of people have it. You cannot die from a coldsore, it just looks unpleasant and is very sore. Nothing else.

Coldsores are common and you can go years, even decades without flares. Genital herpes is common also, and not the same.

You'd be surprised at the amount of people that have herpes type 1 and 2 but don't even know it. You can have absolutely no symptoms and then one day, you have a flare.

Herpes isn't something to kill yourself over. It is merely blisters and the symptoms will subside but it'll always be in the body. Herpes will make the person feel unwell though, because it attacks your body. Cold like symptoms will be there and you'll generally feel run down (hence a flare) and this goes for both types of Herpes.

Once you've contracted it, you can have it anywhere like up the nose, on the lips etc. I didn't think this was possible until I got a coldsore up my nose (because I already had the virus so it decides where to go).

Genital herpes stays in that area and isn't the same virus as a coldsore, and the only way to contract genital herpes is if you are sexually intimate with someone with it, while they are flaring. Or if you have oral sex with someone that's got a coldsore, but this doesn't mean you WILL catch it (read below).

I contracted genital herpes in my early 20s. He told me it was a latex allergy. So as a stupid idiot, I had unprotected sex with someone with herpes, and I had no idea. My first flare was months later. The second flare over 10 years later and I haven't had a flare for almost 2 years now. I have never passed it on, because I will not be intimate with anyone while flaring and this is the only way to catch it (despite what you might read, but that is total shit).

Going back to the coldsores, as I said, I get regular flares now. My abusive ex was aware and I would refuse to kiss him or give him oral sex while flaring, but he didn't give me a choice. He said he didn't care, I did and it was SO sore, but again, he is abusive so he didn't care. Surprisingly, he has never contracted the coldsore on his face or genitals. I was with him for (on and off) for a year.

Once again, I have never passed either on. And I will reiterate, it is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and you should not make people feel ashamed of this. It is not a death sentence. Would you make a person feel ashamed for HIV? (I don't have this but making someone feel ashamed for catching something is not right)

When I went to the sexual health clinic, the SPECIALIST nurse explained more. She said, genital herpes is SO common they stopped testing EVERYONE for it (unless they had symptoms), because they can catch it and not have flares for years. That made me feel better. Before this, I felt so ashamed and disgusting, just like how you are making your mum (and others feel) over a coldsore... but now it doesn't phase me.

I made one mistake when I was a stupid kid (the genital herpes I mean). At that time, I was in severe self destruct mode and I didn't give a shit about myself, hence having unprotected sex.

I hope this makes you feel better. Please don't make others feel ashamed over a coldsore, it is really silly to be honest. One day you may catch it, who knows.

In my opinion, you have severe health anxiety (used to be called hypochondria) and OCD (health related), I am not a doctor but I've met these people before, and a friend of mine is like this. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but you really should get help for it rather than projecting onto others. It will help you

Best of luck with everything

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

If you've ever had chickenpox, you have a species of herpes inside of you for the rest of your life already.

 

[j.rez729]

There are a lot of good reasons to kill oneself...having herpes, of which millions of Americans do, isn't one of them.

 

[astr4]

To be clear, I don't judge anyone who has herpes. But i personally cannot live with this, life already sucks, I can't have ADHD + suspected autism + Herpes all at the same time,I just can't.

wish people would read this part first.

guys op isn't judging others but it's just very overwhelming for them and they can't deal with another health struggle on top of everything.

it's like if i was already suicidal and then i also!! got covid or something like damn. its just one thing after another? how overwhelming… it's just the straw that breaks the camels back so to speak.

please go easy on op, they're clearly hurting, and i really wish we wouldn't invalidate their experience or their suicidality… it's not "i'm killing myself because i got herpes" it's "i'm killing myself because this is more than i can handle."

this is also marked a venting thread, i think if we don't have the capacity to give op some grace, it's not worth replying at all. just my thoughts though, idk regardless of what you're going through, we're all on here because others can't relate to our desire to die, so i do hope we can empathize with how overwhelmed op is instead of criticizing.

plus a further analogy, one person might find it intolerable to live life paralyzed from the waist down, they're not saying every paralyzed person should die, but they can't personally tolerate the circumstances. i think that's perfectly valid. food for thought.

 

[HighFlight]

But i personally cannot live with this, life already sucks, I can't have ADHD + suspected autism + Herpes all at the same time,I just can't

I realize that this is a lot to take in. ADHD + autism is tough enough. Add something with a stigma such as herpes or HPV, or any STD just makes things feel overwhelming. Based on your description, it sounds like it could be herpes simplex HSV-1 variant. The World Health Organization calculates that the majority of the world population (67% or 3.7 billion people) have contracted the virus. In most cases, HSV-1 symptoms are usually just cold sores, which can be managed.

The choice to ctb is yours alone to make. But I would hope that this doesn't become a deciding factor. And as someone with unmanged ADHD, anxiety, depression and HSV-1, I realize how difficult this can be for you. Please put the herpes in context with everything else you have going on.

My DM's are always open if you want to talk.

But please, while you are determining your future, please take care of yourself and trying to find a little peace in this whirlwind of problems.

 

[NikolaiK]

50 - 80% of the US population carries oral herpes virus, 64% of the global population under 50 has the virus. Just to put it into perspective.

 

[outrider567]

50 - 80% of the US population carries oral herpes virus, 64% of the global population under 50 has the virus. Just to put it into perspective.

Highest oral herpes(HSV-1) rates in the World:

Egypt 97%

Yemen 92%

Sudan 90%

Syria 88%

Jordan 86%

Quatar 82%

Iran 81%

Lebanon 81%

Palestine 80%

Pakistan 77%

Bulgaria 84%

Czech Republic 80%
Its important to remember that 'only' 20% to 30% of people who have HSV-1 actually get cold sores, and some only get 1 outbreak in their whole lives, but even without the cold sores present, it is still possible for it to be transmitted
Fun fact: Hippocrates, the Greek philosopher, was the first to observe the herpes Virus in 400 BC

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

Cold sores and genital herpes are two different things...I hope you do some further reading on this...

 

[Kimlett]

I've dealt with cold sores since I was a kid. I think I understand how you feel, sometimes I've felt like I have no control and like I'm disgusting, and I get that it can be scary and one more reason to end it. I've felt that. I just wanted to say that I feel you. In spite of multiple outbreaks throughout my life, it hasn't really affected my life in a significant way. Anyway, even if you have the virus you may have just two or three outbreaks in your life or even none. Believe me, it's not as terrible as your brain thinks. Good luck