Caspers

Caspers

Lost
Jun 23, 2020
403
I was just thinking that if I liked myself, if I respected myself and had self compassion, maybe I'd like life. Who knows
 
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MrBlue

MrBlue

Arcanist
Jul 1, 2020
416
I've always wondered that, but personally I think it would only work the other way around. If I had a life I could be proud of, and more importantly the people to share it with, I could imagine liking myself, or at least be content to be me knowing other people seem to.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,031
I can relate to self-love being able to solve my problems better but I just can't forgive myself for the horrible things he's done/not done/wants to do/doesn't want to do. Every moment I hate myself for whatever he's doing or not doing. Every tough decision he makes I find some way to regret the choice I've made. I'm sure you're fine but for me, I'm often feeling like two different people who both hate each other and deserve it.
 
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Xocoyotziin

Xocoyotziin

Scorpion
Sep 5, 2020
402
Yeah, I often think that I want to escape myself more than I want to escape life. But I don't know. Some inescapable parts of life are just non-nogotiably bad.
 
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_Kaira_

_Kaira_

This Isn't Fine
Oct 2, 2020
826
I wish I could love and value myself. I simply just don't know how to. I think I feel the same as Xocoyotziin, I don't want to die, but I feel like living is just simply too hard to keep going. There are things that are expected of us, and I fail at doing it every day. Perhaps if I wasn't so pessimistic about society, who knows.
 
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Caspers

Caspers

Lost
Jun 23, 2020
403
I can relate to self-love being able to solve my problems better but I just can't forgive myself for the horrible things he's done/not done/wants to do/doesn't want to do. Every moment I hate myself for whatever he's doing or not doing. Every tough decision he makes I find some way to regret the choice I've made. I'm sure you're fine but for me, I'm often feeling like two different people who both hate each other and deserve it.

Yep I definitely have a problem of part of me bullying myself, and another part of myself thinking I deserve it. And I don't think it would solve my problems, but it would definitely make this world more inhabitable
 
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T

TheQ22

Enlightened
Aug 17, 2020
1,097
I was just thinking that if I liked myself, if I respected myself and had self compassion, maybe I'd like life. Who knows
I think it's a difficult question. It's taken me til my 51st year to realise that yes, I do actually have very low self esteem and no, I don't really like myself very much.

But had I have found a way to love myself, then maybe I wouldn't be in the place I am now.

As the marriage guidance counsellor put it (although we still split up afterwards) - be kind to each other.

Except - be kind to yourself. You deserve it. Even if you don't think you do - you really, really do.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Yes the two things are closely tied together. The mature thing to do is to make the distinction. What's your problem and what's actually a problem. This is what cancel culture is. Expecting the world to change according to your problems. It's not reasonable and it's not realistic but I've basically made life so unbearable for myself the only way to protect myself is to sit alone in a dark room. It's not really worth it. Try as I might to be a better person I will always be absolute garbage because what I've done is a disgrace and absolutely unforgivable. I'd love to change the past but again that would be changing other peoples lives. Cancelling children from existing had I made different decisions. I'm not god in fact I'm less than shit
 
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TheQ22

Enlightened
Aug 17, 2020
1,097
because what I've done is a disgrace and absolutely unforgivable.
Ooh what did you do, what did you do?

I bet it's not as bad as you're imagining it to be.

We usually make ourselves feel like garbage, it's why we're all here in the first place.
 
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Ooh what did you do, what did you do?

I bet it's not as bad as you're imagining it to be.

We usually make ourselves feel like garbage, it's why we're all here in the first place.
I never hurt anyone. That's the good thing. It's more what I didn't do. If I could come up with a good reason why that would help a lot but there isn't one. It gets worse every year because of how things have gone. It's unthinkable now, it probably was then
 
T

TheQ22

Enlightened
Aug 17, 2020
1,097
I never hurt anyone. That's the good thing. It's more what I didn't do. If I could come up with a good reason why that would help a lot but there isn't one. It gets worse every year because of how things have gone. It's unthinkable now, it probably was then
Do you think maybe (and I'm not trying to minimise or invalidate how you feel), that maybe you're blowing things into something much larger than they are in your own mind?

I always wonder how you can get proper psychos who don't give 2 hoots about anyone - Like Stalin as a great example - kills tens of million of people and can still sleep like a baby at night.

We say something that might be a bit mean, and we can't live with ourselves for years.

Kind of need to find the calibrated middle ground?
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Do you think maybe (and I'm not trying to minimise or invalidate how you feel), that maybe you're blowing things into something much larger than they are in your own mind?

I always wonder how you can get proper psychos who don't give 2 hoots about anyone - Like Stalin as a great example - kills tens of million of people and can still sleep like a baby at night.

We say something that might be a bit mean, and we can't live with ourselves for years.

Kind of need to find the calibrated middle ground?
Maybe. Perhaps Stalin wouldn't be able to live with himself not for killing all those people but if he couldn't be bothered.
 

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