Story if I get rejected, I have no reason not to ctb

[HopelessScientist]

So, I finished my personal statement today, gonna apply to a very prestigious uni for grad school. I wrote all the research experience I have and everything... Yeah, I genuinely want to be a scientist..

But little do they know I read papers in hospital, that I battled through the darkest depths of anhedonia and the abyss while still showing up, while still doing experiments, while still doing so much more than other undergrads... but I cannot exactly say that.

Two forces pulling me. Suicide and my future career. Both feel so strong. Ironically, antidepressants gave me energy to plan both.

 

[daruino]

Wishing you best of luck. I know how important this is, I'm in a similar situation with medical school. It's really admirable you pushed through like that- I hope you get in!

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

Two forces pulling me. Suicide and my future career. Both feel so strong. Ironically, antidepressants gave me energy to plan both.

That part is extremely understandable. If the antidepressants made you feel a little better to care enough about uni, then it could also give you the right amount of energy to plan your exit.

 

[Abyss Dweller]

I wish you good luck. I understand how important this is for you but just a minor reflection to your title: if god forbids you don't get accepted isn't it possible to try again half a year or a year later? What I'm trying to say is hopefully its not the end of the world.

Wish you the best <3

 

[HopelessScientist]

Wishing you best of luck. I know how important this is, I'm in a similar situation with medical school. It's really admirable you pushed through like that- I hope you get in!

every doctor I know has been depressed and suicidal in med school :')