If I fail ctb I won’t stay on here & what I’ll do afterwards.

[Leavesfromthevine]

I plan on attempting very soon and have been thinking on what I'll do if I fail. I realize that I'll only come on here to tell everyone I failed so they don't assume I'm actually dead. I'll also leave my account open if I don't ctb just in case I decide to come back for any reason.

Why will I leave?
I just don't feel there's much more I can add or gain from being on here. I don't really have friends on here (personal choice) and the topics mentioned either don't interest me or someone already stated my thoughts almost exactly but more in depth.

Will I try recovery?
Probably not. If it can go undiscovered that I attempted so no hospital or psych ward then I'll try a different method. I know there's a chance I could be like others and have a whole new perspective on life but I don't see that as a reality, I feel I'm just too far gone.

What will I do before I attempt again?
The only option is find a job of any sorts. I've been trying for a traveling job but I haven't heard back from any type of job so who knows.

This community is great and I'm forever grateful for the knowledge it has given me and the people I've met on here.

Feel free to ask any questions or talk about what your plans are.

 

[Dliena]

I wish you the best and eternal peace with whatever it is that you windup doing OP.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

damnet, that means i'd have to get my travel-through-someone-elses-experience somewhere else.
But hey, you do you.
Whatever you decide on, i hope you find what it is youre looking for.

 

[inmyhead]

Hi OP. I wish you peace with whatever you decide to do and however that comes.

I'll say only this

Leaves from the vine
Falling so slow
Like fragile, tiny shells
Drifting in the foam

Little soldier boy
Come marching home
Brave soldier boy
Comes marching home

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

damnet, that means i'd have to get my travel-through-someone-elses-experience somewhere else.
But hey, you do you.
Whatever you decide on, i hope you find what it is youre looking for.

Wanted to do that for you just ran out of money. Feeding 3 people with no income coming in killed my savings.