In September I will enter my 30s. I will enter my 30s with nothing, no friends, no love, no job probably. But if I died now, I would be happy. I would be happy because despite all of the obstacles, I reached great highs, all alone, in my 20s. And that should be it folks.
I grew up with: a malformation in my face, healthy issues like hearing damages, manual problems, back problems. I had 10 surgeries, one even an hearth surgeries. My mother suffers from schizophrenia and my father is an eternal child, incapable of taking his own responsabilities (for example he refused to pay even fhe food for my sister even when she was a minor, and he wasn't divorced or something like that).
I was isolated and I picked the wrong decision of isolate myself on the net. Despite this. I obtained two degrees after diploma (not university, but qualified titles, recognized by the government), I worked and lived abroad, I worked in a big company in a tech job and I had two great friendship with two great women. All of these things last very briefly, I lost everything because I'm too strange and incapable. The thing is: despite my problems, I've been able to taste a very little bit of the cake of life.
I almost reached, all alone, a peak that people usually reach thanks to their family, at least in my country. Now of course I'm a failure because all of these problems are too much for me. But If I had to die now, before 30, I would be satisfy. I did everything I could. I would be proud of myself.
The problem is that I'm afraid to die and so I will live miserabile years.
I grew up with: a malformation in my face, healthy issues like hearing damages, manual problems, back problems. I had 10 surgeries, one even an hearth surgeries. My mother suffers from schizophrenia and my father is an eternal child, incapable of taking his own responsabilities (for example he refused to pay even fhe food for my sister even when she was a minor, and he wasn't divorced or something like that).
I was isolated and I picked the wrong decision of isolate myself on the net. Despite this. I obtained two degrees after diploma (not university, but qualified titles, recognized by the government), I worked and lived abroad, I worked in a big company in a tech job and I had two great friendship with two great women. All of these things last very briefly, I lost everything because I'm too strange and incapable. The thing is: despite my problems, I've been able to taste a very little bit of the cake of life.
I almost reached, all alone, a peak that people usually reach thanks to their family, at least in my country. Now of course I'm a failure because all of these problems are too much for me. But If I had to die now, before 30, I would be satisfy. I did everything I could. I would be proud of myself.
The problem is that I'm afraid to die and so I will live miserabile years.
