I'd always personally prefer to not exist, I have no interest in suffering in this torturous, futile existence, for me ceasing to exist would be a positive solution for what I ultimately have a problem with is existence itself and I find it a burden to simply exist, I'd never wish to be conscious of anything at all and the fact that this existence was imposed in the first place is a tragedy to me. I'd never wish to exist, I just want non-existence instead, I just want peace instead of being enslaved in this existence of pointless suffering, I find it deeply undesirable to exist and the thought of suffering in this existence until old age is so horrific to me.