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DiscussionIf I didn't have .. I'd be dead by tomorrow
Thread starterAnonymousL
Start date
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My mother, family and friends. And my mind lives in a duality where at the same time that I want to die, another part of me wants to live to fulfill dreams and explore the few pleasures that life still has to offer, despite the fact that my life is boring, dull and losing the colors. But I know I won't achieve anything good in the future, so whatever.
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Guy Smiley, AnonymousL, DarkThoughts and 2 others
Because we exist in such an hellish, evil world where there is the absence of peaceful, guaranteed ways to die for all. I'd be long gone if I could have the option of a death which is like never waking again without the fear of trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering, it truly is so horrifying how in my case all the ways to die are either inaccessible or risky.
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ali.hamza, bluebird16, AnonymousL and 4 others
I'm here because all of the current methods are so terrifying and risky. Unlike what a few users here seem to think, me being alive doesn't mean that I want to live. I want to be dead and be free from suffering but I can't as the current methods are just so scary for me. One of my reasons for wanting to be dead in the first place is because of how mentally weak I am to where I react to the smallest amount of suffering and stress extremely and a suicide attempt would just amplify that due to SI
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WhatPowerIs, _Gollum_, bluebird16 and 10 others
I'm going to jump on the band wagon anf say yeah, available methods are a high risk of ending up injuring you in the long term. The second reason would be my GF not because I care for her more than my family, no but because I have told her I am suicidal and she said that if I go through with ctb then she would not be far behind me. So her insane and immature ideas keep me here as well.
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ijustwishtodie, AnonymousL, DarkThoughts and 2 others
I will already damage my family by ctb, but there could be legal consequences and chaos by my sudden departure. I try to be as responsible as I can to prevent it. Worst thing is they are probably still going to call me selfish even when I'm working my butt off to soften the blow right now.
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Reactions:
Guy Smiley, AnonymousL and DarkThoughts
My family and friends or at least if they didn't live in a small town where anyone's suicidal death would become a number one headline and everyone would know about it and make stupid comments and judge them even if it's not their fault at all.
Reactions:
Guy Smiley, AnonymousL and DarkThoughts
Waiting for my SN to arrive, will most likely need to attempt without AEs while also living with my parents. Mainly rushed because the exposé on MDS was published the same day I ordered, so I'm incredibly anxious about a welfare check. Just adds on to the existing risk of trying to obtain it in the UK. If it arrives soon, I'll have to chance it with 4 drinks prepared.
Waiting for my SN to arrive, will most likely need to attempt without AEs while also living with my parents. Mainly rushed because the exposé on MDS was published the same day I ordered, so I'm incredibly anxious about a welfare check. Just adds on to the existing risk of trying to obtain it in the UK. If it arrives soon, I'll have to chance it with 4 drinks prepared.
Guilt and fear. The guilt is due to how much it would hurt my family, and the fear is of death, as well as the possibility of failing and being left in a permanent state that is worse than death.
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