Itsallover123
Student
- Nov 14, 2021
- 137
Saw someone post about homelessness and it made me remember a story
My dad tried to kick me out twice. The first time it was because I went out skateboarding alone to exercise. I think the real reason was he just didn't want me. I came home to all of my shit at the door and he had left to find a new lock. After he came home and screamed at me to leave I had my first real panic attack, I almost drowned trying to drink a glass of water. In the days that followed I looked for cheap apartments (which is basically impossible in NYC) as I constantly wiped my tears so that I could see the damn screen. I was too afraid to even leave the house because he would've locked me out. I think my only real option at the time would've been homelessness and sleeping in the subway begging for money, teased by the death of passing trains. To be honest I don't even remember the second time he tried to kick me out. That happens a lot with my trauma, I completely fucking forget it because I can't live with it. Fuck it while I'm ranting I'll talk about the ED he gave me. I love chinese food, it's just so good. We would get it all the time when I was little from this halal place. When I was about 5 we had some for dinner and I was absolutely stuffed, I love it so much that I ate till I felt like I was gonna burst. He walked out of his bedroom to the livingroom where I was and saw that I had a little bit of rice left in my container. He told me to finish it but I literally could not eat anymore, my stomach was hurting. He started to yell and shout that I needed to finish it but I couldn't and then he called me a wasteful piece of shit. Ever since that day I've been unconsciously finishing every plate I get, no matter how big it is. It led to me becoming a fat fuck. I didn't even realize I had this issue till I tried to cut back on food. Whats worse is my mom would always make me too much food, and I always finished it. The thing that really fucking pisses me off is that now whenever I see him eat, he never eats more than half the plate. Wasteful piece of shit.
My dad tried to kick me out twice. The first time it was because I went out skateboarding alone to exercise. I think the real reason was he just didn't want me. I came home to all of my shit at the door and he had left to find a new lock. After he came home and screamed at me to leave I had my first real panic attack, I almost drowned trying to drink a glass of water. In the days that followed I looked for cheap apartments (which is basically impossible in NYC) as I constantly wiped my tears so that I could see the damn screen. I was too afraid to even leave the house because he would've locked me out. I think my only real option at the time would've been homelessness and sleeping in the subway begging for money, teased by the death of passing trains. To be honest I don't even remember the second time he tried to kick me out. That happens a lot with my trauma, I completely fucking forget it because I can't live with it. Fuck it while I'm ranting I'll talk about the ED he gave me. I love chinese food, it's just so good. We would get it all the time when I was little from this halal place. When I was about 5 we had some for dinner and I was absolutely stuffed, I love it so much that I ate till I felt like I was gonna burst. He walked out of his bedroom to the livingroom where I was and saw that I had a little bit of rice left in my container. He told me to finish it but I literally could not eat anymore, my stomach was hurting. He started to yell and shout that I needed to finish it but I couldn't and then he called me a wasteful piece of shit. Ever since that day I've been unconsciously finishing every plate I get, no matter how big it is. It led to me becoming a fat fuck. I didn't even realize I had this issue till I tried to cut back on food. Whats worse is my mom would always make me too much food, and I always finished it. The thing that really fucking pisses me off is that now whenever I see him eat, he never eats more than half the plate. Wasteful piece of shit.
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