Venting Idk where else to put my thoughts

[bedbugg]

Life is fuckin unfair man. I never thought that at 18 years old I'd be so tired and disconnected from everything. I wish I never had to consider suicide but at this point I feel like I have to die for this whole pointless cycle to stop. I can't feel joy. I can't keep up a relationship of any kind(friendship, romantic, familial). I'm so lonely man I've lost pretty much everybody I cared about. Whenever I find something that brings me any bit of happiness it's taken away or it doesn't work out. All I have really are my ferrets and as wonderful as they are I just don't feel a thing when I hold them it feels like I'm already dead in a way. I often wonder if there is a god out there why he made me suffer so much my whole life. I've been crying myself to sleep since I was a toddler. What did I do to deserve this? I just want a break. I'm so tired. I can't take care of myself anymore. I can't work. And I can't even kill myself because I'm terrified of what comes after death. I wanted to be alive once but now I know I can't do that because there's no life here for me and I'll just have to suck it up and die. I just wished my parents succeeded in neglecting me to death when I was young. Would have been a blessing.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

I'm so sorry to hear. It's sad you've been crying so long. Uggggg. I wish things could turn around. I relate though I am older. I agree with your profile quote. Yes, it's hell here. It's nice you have ferrets. I've never been around any, but I hear they can be endearing. I relate to what you said. Perhaps you could get some meds just to feel a little calmer. Idk

 

[bedbugg]

I'm so sorry to hear. It's sad you've been crying so long. Uggggg. I wish things could turn around. I relate though I am older. I agree with your profile quote. Yes, it's hell here. It's nice you have ferrets. I've never been around any, but I hear they can be endearing. I relate to what you said. Perhaps you could get some meds just to feel a little calmer. Idk

I've been on a lot of different meds and years of therapy. Luck just isn't on my side I suppose. I really appreciate ur comment tho. I find that most people here at least are very understanding and kind moreso than anyone I've met and known in my lifetime. Thank you.

 

[ElizabethsFault]

There's a lot of types of therapy. "Brainspotting," is similar to EMDR; the therapist watches your eyes move as you talk about disturbing memories, pinpoints the part of your brain holding onto specific memories and can replace them with positive thoughts. I dunno. I haven't tried it, but supposedly it works quickly. I been in psychotherapy for 30 years and I'm on this site so I'm hoping a different kind of therapy might be the answer. Obviously "talk" therapy and medication didn't work for me. I'm sorry your childhood was messed up.

 

[CatTheBus5689]

Imagine if we had the power to go back in time to choose how we died.

 

[Midgardsorm]

Sorry friend. Life is unfair, unjust, and unfortunately for most of us, cruel and painful.

Sometimes it seems like there's a unknown force making everything around us go wrong. Like as if god hated us.
Why would he? I don't know.

I wish you the best.

 

[xBrialesana]

I know this isn't the answer and obviously your issues are far beyond that, but it sounds like you REALLY need a friend :/ my dms are always open. ! <3

 

[motel rooms]

the therapist watches your eyes move as you talk about disturbing memories, pinpoints the part of your brain holding onto specific memories and can replace them with positive thoughts. I dunno. I haven't tried it, but supposedly it works quickly.

I hope no one reading this is naive enough to spend money on such a "procedure"

 

[ElizabethsFault]

I hope no one reading this is naive enough to spend money on such a "procedure"

It's been done for 20 years. EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprocessing) has. Brainspotting evolved from EMDR and it works quicker. Trauma is stored in your brain. It's why people with PTSD get migraines, intestinal issues and many other physical health problems. It doesn't erase the trauma, nothing can do that. It lessens the impact and toll it takes on your body, emotionally and physically; you are able to cope better. It's noninvasive. But I'm no doctor. ECT is a proven cure for depression. I'd sooner try EMDR or Brainspotting, before allowing someone to painfully zap my brain with electric currents and risk permanent memory loss. Also, it's less expensive and more accessible than N.

 

[Jumping_realms]

It's been done for 20 years. EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprocessing) has. Brainspotting evolved from EMDR and it works quicker. Trauma is stored in your brain. It's why people with PTSD get migraines, intestinal issues and many other physical health problems. It doesn't erase the trauma, nothing can do that. It lessens the impact and toll it takes on your body, emotionally and physically; you are able to cope better. It's noninvasive. But I'm no doctor. ECT is a proven cure for depression. I'd sooner try EMDR or Brainspotting, before allowing someone to painfully zap my brain with electric currents and risk permanent memory loss. Also, it's less expensive and more accessible than N.

ECT definitely can't be considered a proven cure.

There are plenty of people that are worse after treatments with ECT.

 

[ElizabethsFault]

It's been done for 20 years. EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprocessing) has. Brainspotting evolved from EMDR and it works quicker. Trauma is stored in your brain. It's why people with PTSD get migraines, intestinal issues and many other physical health problems. It doesn't erase the trauma, nothing can do that. It lessens the impact and toll it takes on your body, emotionally and physically; you are able to cope better. It's noninvasive. But I'm no doctor. ECT is a proven cure for depression. I'd sooner try EMDR or Brainspotting, before allowing someone to painfully zap my brain with electric currents and risk permanent memory loss. Also, it's less expensive and more accessible than N.

If you have good insurance it'll cost nothing to try it.

ECT definitely can't be considered a proven cure.

There are plenty of people that are worse after treatments with ECT.

There are plenty of people who are worse (myself included), for trying regular psychotherapy and all this entails is talking.

 

[Jumping_realms]

Jumping_realms said:
ECT definitely can't be considered a proven cure.

There are plenty of people that are worse after treatments with ECT.

\\There are plenty of people who are worse (myself included), for trying regular psychotherapy and all this entails is talking.\\



Sorry, I just didn't understand why you are saying ECT is a proven cure. ECT can worsen anxiety symptoms, including obsessional thoughts or panic attacks. It can cause serious memory issues and much more.

That is far from a "proven cure".

 

[FuneralCry]

Sorry to hear you are suffering, this life can be really cruel, I understand. I'm very tired of living as well, life can be never ending misery. I wish you well.

 

[ElizabethsFault]

\\There are plenty of people who are worse (myself included), for trying regular psychotherapy and all this entails is talking.\\



Sorry, I just didn't understand why you are saying ECT is a proven cure. ECT can worsen anxiety symptoms, including obsessional thoughts or panic attacks. It can cause serious memory issues and much more.

That is far from a "proven cure".

No worries. I've known someone who had ECT and was pretty much brain damaged afterwards. I met someone it worked for. I know people who were helped with psychotherapy. I don't discredit the idea, despite my experience. Once a "science" has been around long enough, it's typically been proven, some people can be helped with its practice. For someone suffering from PTSD, recovery is possible. Depending on the person, severity, support, medication, therapy, and sometimes decades a person isn't willing to wait around for.

 

[ElizabethsFault]

You're kind of contradicting yourself...

I haven't tried it. I never claimed to be an expert on it. I'm not a Dr or brain spotting specialist. Thought some info on the therapy might help someone. Was trying to offer support to anyone in this community who may wish to try recovery as an option. I expect anyone would research the therapy or speak to a specialist if it interests them and they desire the help. Sorry, I'm not a Level 3 Brainspotting therapist and this seems to offend you.

 

[motel rooms]

@ElizabethsFault Please edit your post so it doesn't look like your reply is something I said

 

[Grumpy Bear]

It's been done for 20 years. EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprocessing) has. Brainspotting evolved from EMDR and it works quicker. Trauma is stored in your brain. It's why people with PTSD get migraines, intestinal issues and many other physical health problems. It doesn't erase the trauma, nothing can do that. It lessens the impact and toll it takes on your body, emotionally and physically; you are able to cope better. It's noninvasive. But I'm no doctor. ECT is a proven cure for depression. I'd sooner try EMDR or Brainspotting, before allowing someone to painfully zap my brain with electric currents and risk permanent memory loss. Also, it's less expensive and more accessible than N.

I've had ECT and it isn't painful these day as they put you under for the procedure. Also ECT can help but it has a high chance of making things worse as it did for me.

 

[motel rooms]

I haven't tried it. I never claimed to be an expert on it. I'm not a Dr or brain spotting specialist. Thought some info on the therapy might help someone. Was trying to offer support to anyone in this community who may wish to try recovery as an option. I expect anyone would research the therapy or speak to a specialist if it interests them and they desire the help. Sorry, I'm not a Level 3 Brainspotting therapist and this seems to offend you.

Why are you offended that I pointed out you contradicted yourself? Nobody forced you to say that certain therapists can "pinpoint the part of the brain holding on to specific memories and replace them with positive thoughts". I'm not offended by you, I think you're confused

 

[motel rooms]

I think you're antagonistic. We are all entitled to our opinions.

It's kind of hard to tell what your opinion is since you contradicted yourself

 

[motel rooms]

Point proven.

Brainspotting evolved from EMDR and it works quicker. (...) It doesn't erase the trauma, nothing can do that. It lessens the impact and toll it takes on your body, emotionally and physically; you are able to cope better.

"Brainspotting," is similar to EMDR; the therapist watches your eyes move as you talk about disturbing memories, pinpoints the part of your brain holding onto specific memories and can replace them with positive thoughts. I dunno. I haven't tried it, but supposedly it works quickly.

Point proven...

 

[ElizabethsFault]

Point proven...

I guess we're both correct.

I've had ECT and it isn't painful these day as they put you under for the procedure. Also ECT can help but it has a high chance of making things worse as it did for me.

Sorry to hear it! My ex had a similar experience. I know he was under some form of anesthesia during the procedure. In between treatments he suffered from horrible migraines. He had memory loss afterwards. I know he'd have been better off without it!

I hope no one reading this is naive enough to spend money on such a "procedure"

It's free with good insurance.

 

[ElizabethsFault]

A

I guess we're both correct.

Sorry to hear it! My ex had a similar experience. I know he was under some form of anesthesia during the procedure. In between treatments he suffered from horrible migraines. He had memory loss afterwards. I know he'd have been better off without it!

It's free with good insurance.

I guess we're both correct.

Sorry to hear it! My ex had a similar experience. I know he was under some form of anesthesia during the procedure. In between treatments he suffered from horrible migraines. He had memory loss afterwards. I know he'd have been better off without it!

It's free with good insurance.

It's kind of hard to tell what your opinion is since you contradicted yourself

What tipped you off? Was it me writing "I dunno?"

What tipped you off? Was it me writing "

It makes me feel better about myself to harass people who are already suffering, on a pro suicide site.

What tipped you off? Was it me writi

P I'm not enjoying my life so I want to ensure no one else can enjoy their own.

 

[motel rooms]

@ElizabethsFault
You know, it's really unfair to write disgusting things & make it seem like you're quoting me. Please stop doing that. I'm sorry that I pointed out that it isn't possible to "pinpoint the parts of our brain holding on to specific memories and replace those memories with positive thoughts" & that you contradicted yourself. As someone who suffers from PTSD, I don't like it when misinformation about trauma treatments is spread. Brainspotting is not an evidence-based, empirically validated treatment for trauma. Please stop confusing it with EMDR therapy. Please stop taking things personally, I have nothing against you & I've been perfectly polite to you.

 

[bedbugg]

I know this isn't the answer and obviously your issues are far beyond that, but it sounds like you REALLY need a friend :/ my dms are always open. ! <3

I'd love to take u up on that but I'm very new to this site and idk how to start dms haha. If u or someone else could explain that'd be cool.