Venting Idk how do people enjoy this life

[Papa Shinai]

All I think about is how we are miserable and helpless against the futility of time and our biological limits. I just can't forget these facts and continue living, I always think about how and when I am and others around me are going to die. I can't enjoy anything because I know all the things we do is futile and unimportant. Marriage, money, friends.. I can't care about these because I know these are not permanent. I just wanna die.

I think about a scenario where I found love of my life, surrounded by friends and found money, I'd still feel "meh". The problem is in existing itself.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

my problem is loneliness. dead marriage, no friends, no family. I have animals and plenty of entertainment equipment and some money. but I feel like a shell, un loved, un wanted. like trash. Just sitting here vaping my E-cig and listening to retro synth wave (I was born in the early 80s). I have no one to talk to, no one to hang with. Just another day in this fake ass, toilet earth.

 

[22yearsbroken]

No idea.. if you ever figure it out, plaese let me know .. cos im lost

 

[J&L383]

All I think about is how we are miserable and helpless against the futility of time and our biological limits. I just can't forget these facts and continue living, I always think about how and when I am and others around me are going to die. I can't enjoy anything because I know all the things we do is futile and unimportant. Marriage, money, friends.. I can't care about these because I know these are not permanent. I just wanna die.

I think about a scenario where I found love of my life, surrounded by friends and found money, I'd still feel "meh". The problem is in existing itself.

Yes! Existence itself is a burden. "The futility of time and our biological limits" does a nice job of summing it up. I do hope death, at least, is permanent.

 

[davidtorez]

Yes! Existence itself is a burden. "The futility of time and our biological limits" does a nice job of summing it up. I do hope death, at least, is permanent.

Me too! Here's to hoping for permanent sleep !

 

[catfriend]

I think about a scenario where I found love of my life, surrounded by friends and found money, I'd still feel "meh". The problem is in existing itself.

i've thought about this exact scenario before and came to the conclusion that it would make existence more tolerable, but not completely tolerable. a terrifying prospect: having 'everything' and still being miserable; crushed by the weight of our own mortality.

 

[Darkover]

this is a depressing place to be alive a world built on destruction and pain no matter what you do you just lose everything

 

[Forever Sleep]

I do understand. In some ways though, I've felt this weird relief in no longer chasing a lot of things. I used to be so fixated on achieving in my career but, the 'better' jobs I got were awful! So, I don't feel so much pressure to even want those jobs now.

With friends and family, it's more the sad realisation that they will likely leave at some point- either through death, moving away, living separate busy lives. So, I kind of seek out friendship/ relationships less now- because I don't trust them.

Not that I'm happy of course. It's a fairly miserable state of affairs, but I feel less pressure at least to be part of the rat race or comply to society norms. That's a small positive I suppose. I try to enjoy feeling relaxed now whereas before, I'd be stressed I wasn't being productive.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

My theory is people who seem to enjoy this life are one of 3 things, or a combination:
1. Incredibly stupid and don't realize reality
2. Soulless monsters who step on people to get what they want
3. Aren't actually real people, they're not like us, there's nothing actually inside them

 

[Holu]

I was having a convo with a friend of mine I met here yesterday, and she made the point that it's probably us who are the problem, rather than the vast majority of the world. For whatever reason it may be, we are broken, depressed, and hyperaware to our suffering. The rest of the world simply isn't like that, or simply holds too many optimistic views to easily understand our viewpoint. We are the outsiders, not them lol.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand, I just want to not exist as well, to permanently cease existing is all I hope for, for me the problem is existence itself as well and simply just existing is enough to make me wish for death, I'd always prefer to not exist than be burdened with this futile existence that just leads to decay and death anyway, to me existing really is just waiting to die.

 

[Griever]

I spend every day at my desk or lying in my bed playing games until I fall asleep and it's always the same from day to day. I don't live a life anymore, I only survive until the day I die. I don't want to exist anymore.

 

[valleys-boy]

I'd love to say i enjoy this life, at least id be happy then… i may be new to the forum but have been lurking as a non member for a bit but im pretty sure not many are, we just find ourselves stuck in this position, myself i have physical and mental issues that have brought me to it, id be much happier if i wasnt at the stage im planning my own death

 

[Gamelle]

Most people's minds work completely different from ours. They may as well be on a different planet because their emotional framework is nothing like ours.

 

[INYGTRMTFMO]

Yeah, there are plenty of times when I feel very guilty for being suicidal because my life is objectively good: I have a purposeful career, a loving family; while I'm not wealthy, I'm not impoverished either, and I have wealthy enough family that steps in financially when I can't; I have a few disabilities but am generally in good health; my childhood had a few traumas but was on the whole happy.

But that's the nature of depression. Depression doesn't care what or who you have around you; it makes you feel undeserving and unworthy of all of those blessings. (and, being autistic, I find life overwhelming at its baseline).

What keeps me going is that me ending my life would make the lives of people I care about worse, and I don't want to do that.

That and, cliche as it is, life really is like a box of chocolates; some may chip your teeth or make you gag, but there are some really tasty bits in there, too.

 

[777cave]

I was having a convo with a friend of mine I met here yesterday, and she made the point that it's probably us who are the problem, rather than the vast majority of the world. For whatever reason it may be, we are broken, depressed, and hyperaware to our suffering. The rest of the world simply isn't like that, or simply holds too many optimistic views to easily understand our viewpoint. We are the outsiders, not them lol.

I've read that depressed people are more realistic about life and I believe it.