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synthcadia

synthcadia

dissociated angel.
Jul 8, 2023
271
this last week was such a fucking dumpster fire it's horrible.

because of fear, i will be vague.

i reached out to someone who had some allegations against him. i wanted to hear his side of the story. things turned nsfw. i accidently sent something to his friend (i was tipsy) and then things exploded from there.

lost a whole friend group, i'm a fucking pariah, and i am so dissociated. i was called a dickrider and a PREDATOR, which i am not. i used all of my energy to defend myself.

i just do not care anymore. i am kinda prepared to ctb after i get back from china.

i disabled my artist account and uninstalled insta and twitter. i turned off discord notifs. i may disable my main discord account. idk.

i am just so tired. i am tired of being dragged through the mud. i'm glad i have some friends who are on my side and know this is blown out of fucking proportion. i just hate it.

i'm just so tired. why am i the way i am? and i found a wonderful guy (we are dating non-exclusively cause of china). i am just tired tired tired.

i'm so dissociated too. it's awful.

i want everything to be fixed. i want apologies. but i'm just fucking done.

i'm just gonna… idek. exist? idek. i wish i knew how everything would end without using tarot. i hate uncertainty.

sigh.
 
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