I wrote my suicide note today

[khw777]

To my beloved family. I'm so sorry for your pain and suffering because my actions. I always tried to take pride in everything I did. A lesson I learned from Dad. I'm sorry Nonnie and Daddy for disappointing you.

Dear Karen,
I was the happiest when we first got married. I always wanted to get married. You have been my one and only true love. Unfortunately I got sick and ruined our marriage. Karen I love you. please forgive me. I'm sorry for hurting you.

Dear Mother,
I never wanted to hurt you most of all. I always wanted to make you proud of me. I tried so hard to make that promise, but sadly I failed. I love you so much. Sorry for the pain and suffering I caused you.

I was never able to get well. My health problems and mental health problems never got better. I got to point I could no longer live and function in this life. Everything became painful. I didn't have the strength to continue. I could no longer sleep, and no matter how healthy I ate I always felt fatigued. I don't understand what happened but I could not get well no matter how hard I tried.

Dear Mike,
I love you bro! This is so hard to write. You have always been like a father figure to me, and the best big brother you could be. I admire your strength and courage. You have overcome you own pain and suffering from your back problems. You're a great father now.
I am sorry please forgive me.

Dear Traci and Betsy,
I love you both very much! I'm proud to have for my sisters. I know I have not been a good big brother. You reached out to me, and I did not return the favor. I'm sorry for not being a better big brother.i hope you can find in your hearts to forgive me.

Dear Barbara,
I apologise for all the problems I have caused. I tried to wait until I moved back into the duplex but I could not wait any longer. Please forgive me for the damages I have caused. I never meant to hurt anyone. I especially feel like I betrayed your trust in me. I have always tried to do the right thing for everyone. I have disappointed you, my entire family, and myself. You have been a great property manager. I appreciate all you have done for me. I'm sorry I hope you can forgive me.

 

[reapandsow918]

Deep note bro. I support either paths you decide to choose.

 

[Wreck-it-Riley]

Wonderfully written, i hope they all feel at peace with your words.

 

[Are you lost too?]

if you don't mind me asking, which illness do you have?
Beautiful. I can imagine your pain to write them.
I hope it will help them be at peace.
I'm also sorry for the circumstances that made you get to this point. I hope you're able to find peace.

 

[mediocre]

It's a really powerful note I wish you peace.

 

[Jean4]

Wonderful note. You did a great job.

 

[Stan]

Beautiful! Perfect.

 

[ReadyToMeetMyMaker]

Nicely articulated!

 

[RecycledAtoms]

Wow! That sounds all too familiar to notes I have tried to write in the past. Big reality check for me right now. I didn't realize just how truly suicidal I had become! Thank you for sharing this. Your words really resonated with me.

 

[charlie_z]

I just read your note. My heart is breaking. Peace, brother. Peace.