sadsoul

sadsoul

Alive and unwell
Sep 9, 2018
440
I wrote a little story because I felt like it. I hope someone likes/can relate to this story. Sorry if anything sounds weird, English isn't my native language.
So here it is:

October Night

The pale face of the moon faintly illuminates the night sky. No stars can be seen, no hopeful twinkle in the darkness. The moon is all alone.

Like Stella. A warm wind gently caresses her face and brushes through her black hair. Her blue eyes reflect the light of the moon but beneath that reflection is an endless ocean. If you look into her eyes, you might get lost in the ocean. Not because it is full of things to discover, not because venturing into unknown depths is exciting. Stella's ocean is empty. It is an emptiness that leaves you confused at first, as if you suddenly lost your orientation. But the longer you linger in the emptiness, the more at peace you feel. It is a strange peace, a peace from another world, overwhelming almost.

Stella's empty eyes look up. "Hello moon", she says quietly. Her voice is soft and calm, a sweet lullaby in the night. "You look so sad." Stella slightly lowers her gaze, overviewing the horizon filled with large skyscrapers and countless grey office buildings. Everyday people work in these buildings, everyday grey. Then she looks even further down. A few cars here and there but most people seem to be at home already. With their families and loved ones.

Stella looks up at the moon again. "Do you want to be my friend?" A siren in the distance, then silence again. "I'm sad too, you know." The pale face of the moon shines faintly in the night sky, looking old and tired. Stella isn't old, but she is tired. Right now, she is the most tired person in the world.

A cloud slowly starts to cover the moon. Stella searches for something in her pocket. There it is. A small, red heart made out of glass. A gift from the past and a reminder. She stares at the heart intently, turning it in her hand, feeling the cold, smooth glass. It will break into a thousand pieces if she drops it. But she doesn't, she puts it back into her pocket and looks at the sky again.

Now the moon is fully covered by the cloud. It's time, she thinks and gets up. Her body feels heavy and her stomach is as empty as her eyes. But the emptiness in her stomach isn't peaceful, it hurts. Stella slowly moves towards the ledge of the building, step by step. The closer she gets to the ledge, the more her stomach hurts. There's a tornado forming in her stomach, a tornado made up of all the pain, all the disappointment, all the anger, all the sadness and all the loneliness she has felt in her entire life. She wants to scream, cry, rip out her stomach to make the tornado stop, but she's tired, so tired. Stella sinks to the ground, sobbing quietly.

Suddenly a pale light shines on her face. She looks up and there is her friend again, not covered by a single cloud. A smile crosses her face. "I'm glad you're here", she sobs and her voice sounds sadder than any lullaby or song or melody in the entire world. "I'm glad you're here, but I have to go", she says. "This world is just not my place. I need to find peace. I'm sorry." She stands on the ledge now, the tornado getting stronger and stronger. She looks down, a few cars here and there, a siren in the distance. Stella closes her eyes. She feels the gentle wind caressing her face, the tornado raging in her stomach. And then there's peace. Complete peace. The eye of the storm.


"Goodbye, moon."


The pale face of the moon faintly illuminates the night sky. No stars can be seen, no hopeful twinkle in the darkness. The moon is all alone.
 
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V

Voldmort

Experienced
Sep 23, 2018
287
I liked the story! I like to read them.
I usually write when I am very sad but I want to focus on solitude in something, this something is writing.

By the way, what's your native language?
 
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sadsoul

sadsoul

Alive and unwell
Sep 9, 2018
440
I liked the story! I like to read them.
I usually write when I am very sad but I want to focus on solitude in something, this something is writing.

By the way, what's your native language?
Thank you! My native language is German.
 
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S

Schopenhauer

Enlightened
Oct 3, 2018
1,133
It was a good one. Thanks for sharing. It's good to express yourself this way.
 
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sadsoul

sadsoul

Alive and unwell
Sep 9, 2018
440
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Maravillosa

Maravillosa

Господи помилуй — мир в Україні!
Sep 7, 2018
689
It was very prettily written, very evocative -- I could not write so well in a language that is not my native tongue.
 
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Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,140
That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
 
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faex42

faex42

Experienced
Oct 19, 2018
213
What a wonderful story. You write English far better than many native speakers but I suspect that you know that. It takes lots of experience with a language to write so beautifully. I also speak more than one language fluently but I don't have your talent to write such a moving piece in any of them including my mother tongue. Many thanks for sharing.
 
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sadsoul

sadsoul

Alive and unwell
Sep 9, 2018
440
To be honest I was scared no one would read the story so thank you to everyone who read it and thank you for your nice words, I'm glad you liked it.
 
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Weeping Garbage Can

Weeping Garbage Can

ਕਿਰਪਾ ਕਰਕੇ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਭੁੱਲ ਜਾਓ ❤️
Oct 31, 2018
320
Wow....your story is very lovely; laced with melancholy and the search for peace in a world not so homely. I loved seeing Stella's thoughts and how the moon was the only one watching. I'm very blessed to have read it :)
 
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Prime

Prime

A Nihilist
Oct 25, 2018
210
You are such a good story writer. It was beautiful.
 
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Prime

Prime

A Nihilist
Oct 25, 2018
210
English isn't my native language as well. But I can't write so well. Good job.
 
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brighter

brighter

Warlock
Jan 22, 2019
718
I wrote a little story because I felt like it. I hope someone likes/can relate to this story. Sorry if anything sounds weird, English isn't my native language.
So here it is:

October Night

The pale face of the moon faintly illuminates the night sky. No stars can be seen, no hopeful twinkle in the darkness. The moon is all alone.

Like Stella. A warm wind gently caresses her face and brushes through her black hair. Her blue eyes reflect the light of the moon but beneath that reflection is an endless ocean. If you look into her eyes, you might get lost in the ocean. Not because it is full of things to discover, not because venturing into unknown depths is exciting. Stella's ocean is empty. It is an emptiness that leaves you confused at first, as if you suddenly lost your orientation. But the longer you linger in the emptiness, the more at peace you feel. It is a strange peace, a peace from another world, overwhelming almost.

Stella's empty eyes look up. "Hello moon", she says quietly. Her voice is soft and calm, a sweet lullaby in the night. "You look so sad." Stella slightly lowers her gaze, overviewing the horizon filled with large skyscrapers and countless grey office buildings. Everyday people work in these buildings, everyday grey. Then she looks even further down. A few cars here and there but most people seem to be at home already. With their families and loved ones.

Stella looks up at the moon again. "Do you want to be my friend?" A siren in the distance, then silence again. "I'm sad too, you know." The pale face of the moon shines faintly in the night sky, looking old and tired. Stella isn't old, but she is tired. Right now, she is the most tired person in the world.

A cloud slowly starts to cover the moon. Stella searches for something in her pocket. There it is. A small, red heart made out of glass. A gift from the past and a reminder. She stares at the heart intently, turning it in her hand, feeling the cold, smooth glass. It will break into a thousand pieces if she drops it. But she doesn't, she puts it back into her pocket and looks at the sky again.

Now the moon is fully covered by the cloud. It's time, she thinks and gets up. Her body feels heavy and her stomach is as empty as her eyes. But the emptiness in her stomach isn't peaceful, it hurts. Stella slowly moves towards the ledge of the building, step by step. The closer she gets to the ledge, the more her stomach hurts. There's a tornado forming in her stomach, a tornado made up of all the pain, all the disappointment, all the anger, all the sadness and all the loneliness she has felt in her entire life. She wants to scream, cry, rip out her stomach to make the tornado stop, but she's tired, so tired. Stella sinks to the ground, sobbing quietly.

Suddenly a pale light shines on her face. She looks up and there is her friend again, not covered by a single cloud. A smile crosses her face. "I'm glad you're here", she sobs and her voice sounds sadder than any lullaby or song or melody in the entire world. "I'm glad you're here, but I have to go", she says. "This world is just not my place. I need to find peace. I'm sorry." She stands on the ledge now, the tornado getting stronger and stronger. She looks down, a few cars here and there, a siren in the distance. Stella closes her eyes. She feels the gentle wind caressing her face, the tornado raging in her stomach. And then there's peace. Complete peace. The eye of the storm.


"Goodbye, moon."


The pale face of the moon faintly illuminates the night sky. No stars can be seen, no hopeful twinkle in the darkness. The moon is all alone.

We have an author here, guys :):)

@sadsoul
I know this was a while ago, but have you got another one for us :):) xx
 
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sadsoul

sadsoul

Alive and unwell
Sep 9, 2018
440
We have an author here, guys :):)

@sadsoul
I know this was a while ago, but have you got another one for us :):) xx
I don't, but I think I might write another one after I'm finished with school :)
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
I wrote a little story because I felt like it. I hope someone likes/can relate to this story. Sorry if anything sounds weird, English isn't my native language.
So here it is:

October Night

The pale face of the moon faintly illuminates the night sky. No stars can be seen, no hopeful twinkle in the darkness. The moon is all alone.

Like Stella. A warm wind gently caresses her face and brushes through her black hair. Her blue eyes reflect the light of the moon but beneath that reflection is an endless ocean. If you look into her eyes, you might get lost in the ocean. Not because it is full of things to discover, not because venturing into unknown depths is exciting. Stella's ocean is empty. It is an emptiness that leaves you confused at first, as if you suddenly lost your orientation. But the longer you linger in the emptiness, the more at peace you feel. It is a strange peace, a peace from another world, overwhelming almost.

Stella's empty eyes look up. "Hello moon", she says quietly. Her voice is soft and calm, a sweet lullaby in the night. "You look so sad." Stella slightly lowers her gaze, overviewing the horizon filled with large skyscrapers and countless grey office buildings. Everyday people work in these buildings, everyday grey. Then she looks even further down. A few cars here and there but most people seem to be at home already. With their families and loved ones.

Stella looks up at the moon again. "Do you want to be my friend?" A siren in the distance, then silence again. "I'm sad too, you know." The pale face of the moon shines faintly in the night sky, looking old and tired. Stella isn't old, but she is tired. Right now, she is the most tired person in the world.

A cloud slowly starts to cover the moon. Stella searches for something in her pocket. There it is. A small, red heart made out of glass. A gift from the past and a reminder. She stares at the heart intently, turning it in her hand, feeling the cold, smooth glass. It will break into a thousand pieces if she drops it. But she doesn't, she puts it back into her pocket and looks at the sky again.

Now the moon is fully covered by the cloud. It's time, she thinks and gets up. Her body feels heavy and her stomach is as empty as her eyes. But the emptiness in her stomach isn't peaceful, it hurts. Stella slowly moves towards the ledge of the building, step by step. The closer she gets to the ledge, the more her stomach hurts. There's a tornado forming in her stomach, a tornado made up of all the pain, all the disappointment, all the anger, all the sadness and all the loneliness she has felt in her entire life. She wants to scream, cry, rip out her stomach to make the tornado stop, but she's tired, so tired. Stella sinks to the ground, sobbing quietly.

Suddenly a pale light shines on her face. She looks up and there is her friend again, not covered by a single cloud. A smile crosses her face. "I'm glad you're here", she sobs and her voice sounds sadder than any lullaby or song or melody in the entire world. "I'm glad you're here, but I have to go", she says. "This world is just not my place. I need to find peace. I'm sorry." She stands on the ledge now, the tornado getting stronger and stronger. She looks down, a few cars here and there, a siren in the distance. Stella closes her eyes. She feels the gentle wind caressing her face, the tornado raging in her stomach. And then there's peace. Complete peace. The eye of the storm.


"Goodbye, moon."


The pale face of the moon faintly illuminates the night sky. No stars can be seen, no hopeful twinkle in the darkness. The moon is all alone.
I love it.Thanku for sharing.
 
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coileanbeag

coileanbeag

tiredness
Apr 2, 2019
53
This is beautiful, you write amazingly. I got lost in the story which doesn't happen a lot so thank you for sharing
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,852
This is a good story, and your English is good. Thanks for sharing.
 
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