bad luck
Memento mori
- Mar 2, 2021
- 772
I would like to die drunk, like Dolores O'Riordan. I know that diazepam and zolpiden are not valid. When I drink that internal pain that you suffer when you have major depression is mitigated. I know it's not the solution but I can't help it. I can drink 1 bottle of whiskey but it would be impossible to die mixing with pills. I was recently offered antabus for alcoholism. I can drink 2 liters of beer and you will not notice anything in me, and that is taking the medication. I have SN but honestly I am scared. Fear of pain I wish N was so easy to get, although with my weight I don't know how much I would need (85kg) I am tall. Alcohol and a hot tub, I wish I could die like O'Riordan. My therapists give me up for lost. I have refuted all your arguments about life and death. Too many stones in the backpack and my will is below zero. I just hope that at the last minute I can do it with SN but even 20 minutes of feeling sick terrifies me. I have read the deaths of several members here and I envy their courage. But always the therapists dissuade me. I think it's emotional blackmail ... Think of your mother, your father ... Despite being abusive and being the reason for all my traumas, I still feel sorry for everyone. I'm weak. If they saw me, I look like a man with apparent confidence, vehemence and supporter, but I am so tired. So many years, so many traumas, so much effort for nothing ... In short, it is a relief.