I wish we lived in the dark

[PeaceisallIwishfor]

Honestly, I hate the way I look, I used to be beautiful but I stopped taking care of my appearance and shaved my head like a dumbass(I'm a female and I used to have and be known for my super long hair). I can't and don't even want to leave my bed, I haven't seen anyone but my family in over a year. The worst part is my looks are just going to deteriorate at this point in my life too. The only thing I live for anymore is food which is just going to make me gain weight and be even more uglier. If you are ugly in this world and a female, there's no point, especially when you have experienced being praised for your appearance previously. This sucks, and the agony and mental pain I experience from this is so bad that I need to die, ontop of this I have legal and financial issues that are just killing me, and being ugly gives me no motivation to fix them. I can't wait to end this all, I'm just waiting for some funds to purchase Nembutal. I have no more goals or passion, my only goal is to end my life now.

 

[NitriteAnatomy]

To be completely cheesy, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But, I completely understand what you're saying and yes, society is so fixated on what they're told to look like that nobody takes the time to see past a mountain of makeup/designer clothes. Also, food is awesome, lol. Wish I could say something positive in regards to legal and financial issues, but I've been screwed over so much in the financial department, I can't fault your feelings on that. If it helps, even a little, you aren't as alone as you think, at least.

 

[PeaceisallIwishfor]

To be completely cheesy, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But, I completely understand what you're saying and yes, society is so fixated on what they're told to look like that nobody takes the time to see past a mountain of makeup/designer clothes. Also, food is awesome, lol. Wish I could say something positive in regards to legal and financial issues, but I've been screwed over so much in the financial department, I can't fault your feelings on that. If it helps, even a little, you aren't as alone as you think, at least.

It sucks because I used to be so incredibly confident and full of life, and I just don't think it will ever come back, atleast in time for me to enjoy it. My mentality has just gotten to the point that we all die anyways, I still wasn't happy at my happiest, it was happiness induced by adderall, alcohol, and other drugs. I have come to realize that accepting death and suicide is the closest to happiness and true freedom that I've been longing for, I was never suicidal before, but now it's been the most comforting and peaceful thing to ever come into my life.

 

[Shinbu]

I hate the way I look too I feel ya.

 

[NitriteAnatomy]

It sucks because I used to be so incredibly confident and full of life, and I just don't think it will ever come back, atleast in time for me to enjoy it. My mentality has just gotten to the point that we all die anyways, I still wasn't happy at my happiest, it was happiness induced by adderall, alcohol, and other drugs. I have come to realize that accepting death and suicide is the closest to happiness and true freedom that I've been longing for, I was never suicidal before, but now it's been the most comforting and peaceful thing to ever come into my life.

A lot of us have come to that conclusion, as well. I can suggest that, if you have friends or certain shows, books, hell even video games that help take your mind off things, then do it. It may only be a bandage to the overall situation and feeling, but there's always a chance that you may decide to at least try to improve on yourself. I'm not telling you to not carry through with what you feel, just suggesting to at least try to find something that may help to restore that confidence. At best, you find something or even someone that will pull you through this spot in your life. At worst, you still say screw it and carry through your plans. But, at least you can say you gave it a good try.

Also, screw what others think you look like, they don't like it, that's their problem. You shouldn't have to cover/change your appearance for anyone's sake but your own. Either way, we're all here for you and won't judge over small, petty things that most of society do. At least, I won't.

 

[MissNietzsche]

Honestly, I hate the way I look, I used to be beautiful but I stopped taking care of my appearance and shaved my head like a dumbass(I'm a female and I used to have and be known for my super long hair). I can't and don't even want to leave my bed, I haven't seen anyone but my family in over a year. The worst part is my looks are just going to deteriorate at this point in my life too. The only thing I live for anymore is food which is just going to make me gain weight and be even more uglier. If you are ugly in this world and a female, there's no point, especially when you have experienced being praised for your appearance previously. This sucks, and the agony and mental pain I experience from this is so bad that I need to die, ontop of this I have legal and financial issues that are just killing me, and being ugly gives me no motivation to fix them. I can't wait to end this all, I'm just waiting for some funds to purchase Nembutal. I have no more goals or passion, my only goal is to end my life now.

THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL TOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Like, I'm not just killing myself because I'm ugly, but my hideousness and status as a female makes me have zero urge to fix my other issues. There's literally no point.

 

[PeaceisallIwishfor]

THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL TOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Like, I'm not just killing myself because I'm ugly, but my hideousness and status as a female makes me have zero urge to fix my other issues. There's literally no point.

<3 <3 :(

 

[ThingWithFeathers]

If we lived in the dark for too long then maybe the concept of beauty and ugliness will cease to exist. Or in the dark, we can just imagine that everyone is ugly or everyone is beautiful. But, thanks to the light, I can tell you that some people are just ugly, regardless of how they look.