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Kimlett
Member
- Jan 7, 2024
- 62
I've been in this last depressive episode for more than 2 years (felt like 4). I'm insisting with therapy and meds but it seems like it will never end at this point.
I don't know anymore if the world is getting worse or not because most people around me are thriving and i'm struggling. I'm trying to stop craving a decent home to rent while my friends are thinking about buying houses. Anyway I can't trust being able to keep a job for more than 2-3 years so I definitely shouldn't buy a house.
My job is boring and I hate it, and I'm thinking about studying again but I'm terrified I'll make the same mistake and end up in a job field I hate again. I don't like anything enough to do it everyday except sleeping. I don't want to work, I don't give a fuck if I'm fired.
I have lost interest in almost everything for a long time. I manage to draw sometimes. I force myself to go outside although I don't feel good with my friends anymore.
I have a family, some friends and a partner. Why is that not enough? My fucking brain. I feel like this world is hell and I can't breathe and fast food is the only thing that makes me able to breath again. I'm more obese than ever but I don't know how to stop.
I just want to plan my suicide and write suicide notes and do everything I can to make it as easy as possible to my loved ones. I have no future, I reached the top, it's just more of this or worse until I die, it makes no sense...
Thanks for reading my vent. I appreciate any feedback.
I don't know anymore if the world is getting worse or not because most people around me are thriving and i'm struggling. I'm trying to stop craving a decent home to rent while my friends are thinking about buying houses. Anyway I can't trust being able to keep a job for more than 2-3 years so I definitely shouldn't buy a house.
My job is boring and I hate it, and I'm thinking about studying again but I'm terrified I'll make the same mistake and end up in a job field I hate again. I don't like anything enough to do it everyday except sleeping. I don't want to work, I don't give a fuck if I'm fired.
I have lost interest in almost everything for a long time. I manage to draw sometimes. I force myself to go outside although I don't feel good with my friends anymore.
I have a family, some friends and a partner. Why is that not enough? My fucking brain. I feel like this world is hell and I can't breathe and fast food is the only thing that makes me able to breath again. I'm more obese than ever but I don't know how to stop.
I just want to plan my suicide and write suicide notes and do everything I can to make it as easy as possible to my loved ones. I have no future, I reached the top, it's just more of this or worse until I die, it makes no sense...
Thanks for reading my vent. I appreciate any feedback.