Venting I wish to help people but i cant even help myself.

[Kyotospade]

I feel that everyone on here understands each other on a deeper level and that's why we try our hardest to help and assist others where we can . It's a lovely community but also such a melancholic one.

I hate myself but I feel like in someway I belong here, to help and be here for people who need it.
I never had anyone to help me through my shit so why can't I help any of you . Whatever helps make these last moments of my life enjoyable I suppose.

I was a medical professional so I understand suicide in a way some others don't. I guess that's good for something right.
Idk I'm just blabbing at this point.

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

I understand... I wish I could help everyone here find peace in life even. I feel the level of connection in this forum too, like we can all be honest with ourselves without of fear of backlash

 

[Hollowman]

Most of the people here are beyond help. But it's cool that you want to.

 

[Kyotospade]

Most of the people here are beyond help. But it's cool that you want to.

I worked in the er and morgue of a hospital a fre years back yeah , a lot of people are beyond help but nothing wrong with helping them find a peaceful way out.

 

[ma0]

People have asked me for help and advice before and everytime I feel even worse about myself. I have never been good at helping people, and each time I just scramble around in my head for something to say, anything, but it always comes out as nothing.

I totally understand how you feel.

 

[Kyotospade]

People have asked me for help and advice before and everytime I feel even worse about myself. I have never been good at helping people, and each time I just scramble around in my head for something to say, anything, but it always comes out as nothing.

I totally understand how you feel.

I have a lot of experience with suicide and death , both in a profession and from personal experiences in life .
I feel like I have more to say for others then for myself. I care little for myself but if I'm able to help someone find a reason to keep going or to just find peace in the time they have left then I'll do it over and over until I eventually I meet the same fate.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Honestly? I feel the same, but instead of not helping at all, I help in ways I can. Sometimes here, sometimes irl. Helping others doesn't necessitate helping people with or preventing CTB, it can mean sharing your time.

Some examples from a personal end are:

Used to often stop and chat up a homeless person who looked despondent. Sometimes even bought them and myself dinner and sat down and ate with them whole we discussed life. They really often appreciate the company and compassion.

Used to find a family with children around Xmas every year that couldn't afford gifts for the kids that year, so I would find out one gift that they could all share and love. Nothing like seeing the joy on their faces as they get excited over that. Priceless.

Oftentimes I just lent an ear and empathy to those who feel like they can't talk to anyone. Done this for friends, family member, co-workers and even strangers. Sometimes people just need to vent.

Does it make me feel better? Temporarily, yes, but it's not about me. It's about doing what I can with the time I have here. Not sure if this is what you meant, but it helps in ways you often cannot see. Oh, and thank you for the work you have done and kindness you have likely show to your charges. You probably did more for them in their moments than you realize.

 

[ineed2die]

I'm the opposite at this point. I want everyone else to suffer. Happy people or sad people, I do not care. I want everyone else to suffer.

Sounds edgy and it is! But i am mentally a 15 year old forever unfortunately.

 

[Kyotospade]

I'm the opposite at this point. I want everyone else to suffer. Happy people or sad people, I do not care. I want everyone else to suffer.

Sounds edgy and it is! But i am mentally a 15 year old forever unfortunately.

I've learned that I'd rather help others feel better then to make them feel horrible.

 

[ineed2die]

I've learned that I'd rather help others feel better then to make them feel horrible.

why tho

 

[avoid_slow_death]

why tho

Because this site is overwhelmingly good and decent people in terrible situations. It's one of the few communities where people who are like minded can gather without the vitriol and hatred that seems to be everywhere.

 

[Kyotospade]

why tho

All of us are down on our luck, we wouldn't be here otherwise.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Oh, and this. Great lines:

I love to hate you, I hate to love you
Hate always ends up above
It's much easier to say you hate than to say you love a person
But easier to say you love material and currency when it's dispersin

 

[ineed2die]

Because this site is overwhelmingly good and decent people in terrible situations. It's one of the few communities where people who are like minded can gather without the vitriol and hatred that seems to be everywhere.

Meh i dont really think most people are good, including the majority of people on this site. Everyone is selfish, it's just how we're buillt.

I'll see myself out i dont think this thread is for me.

 

[Hollowman]

I worked in the er and morgue of a hospital a fre years back yeah , a lot of people are beyond help but nothing wrong with helping them find a peaceful way out.

I misunderstood what you meant by help. Yeah nothing wrong with that. Too bad the majority of humanity doesn't agree.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I feel that everyone on here understands each other on a deeper level and that's why we try our hardest to help and assist others where we can . It's a lovely community but also such a melancholic one.

I hate myself but I feel like in someway I belong here, to help and be here for people who need it.
I never had anyone to help me through my shit so why can't I help any of you . Whatever helps make these last moments of my life enjoyable I suppose.

I was a medical professional so I understand suicide in a way some others don't. I guess that's good for something right.
Idk I'm just blabbing at this point.

To be honest the only to help is to find those that want help. Because if someone doesn't want help then you are going to waste your time and could be making a difference by helping the person that desperately desires it. To be honest I think for whatever reason humans are wired to want save the unsaveable the person maybe for the challenge i dont know. The person people who has already drowned while passing right by the person thrashing in the waves begging for help losing their strength willing themselves to go on. Only for all three to eventually succumb. The first was already gone, the second couldn't do it anymore, and the helper couldn't take not being able to help anyone even though they passed right by someone they could save.

 

[SteamaHorns]

Even if you can't save them, it's still nice to at least help them have the most peaceful transition out of this world possible, even if it doesn't amount to much at all. I still find meaning in that.

 

[The_Hunter]

Honestly? I feel the same, but instead of not helping at all, I help in ways I can. Sometimes here, sometimes irl. Helping others doesn't necessitate helping people with or preventing CTB, it can mean sharing your time.

Some examples from a personal end are:

Used to often stop and chat up a homeless person who looked despondent. Sometimes even bought them and myself dinner and sat down and ate with them whole we discussed life. They really often appreciate the company and compassion.

Used to find a family with children around Xmas every year that couldn't afford gifts for the kids that year, so I would find out one gift that they could all share and love. Nothing like seeing the joy on their faces as they get excited over that. Priceless.

Oftentimes I just lent an ear and empathy to those who feel like they can't talk to anyone. Done this for friends, family member, co-workers and even strangers. Sometimes people just need to vent.

Does it make me feel better? Temporarily, yes, but it's not about me. It's about doing what I can with the time I have here. Not sure if this is what you meant, but it helps in ways you often cannot see. Oh, and thank you for the work you have done and kindness you have likely show to your charges. You probably did more for them in their moments than you realize.

Thank you very much for your story :) it's very meaningful

 

[divinemistress36]

Coming on here and talking with people and sympathizing with us is helping people