DesperateStruggler
Member
- Jul 11, 2022
- 7
I would have never imagined I'd end up in a situation where I feel like killing myself but here we are. I have never really had a healthy normal childhood growing up and my teenage years were thrown out of the window as well, I was the quiet ugly social outcast and despite that I still powered through school with all the bullying hoping I can at least secure a good job and live a comfortable life, though I somehow even maneged to screw that up with a plethora of bad decisions after high school, I was left depressed and burnt out, on top of never having been in a relationship, something I had always wanted, I have always either been led on or rejected, I knew this girl for whom I fell hard and to be honest, I still cannot get over her after many years and believe me when I say, nothing worked to cease my obsession, I just have to live with that right now, and it's painful, the loneliness coupled with the fact I fucked my life over academically and financially are too much to handle, I feel like crap from the moment I wake up till I go to sleep and start crying sometimes, nobody really cares, people only see me now as an ugly disappointment.
I feel like I'm better off dead, I even lost faith in God, kept praying my whole life for a change yet things only kept getting worse, I can't cope with religion anymore... hell these past few days I started suspecting I might have Rhabdomyolysis and didn't even bother going to the hospital, I couldn't care less.
I feel like I'm better off dead, I even lost faith in God, kept praying my whole life for a change yet things only kept getting worse, I can't cope with religion anymore... hell these past few days I started suspecting I might have Rhabdomyolysis and didn't even bother going to the hospital, I couldn't care less.
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