emptymiku
bokura wa inochi ni kirawarete iru
- Mar 27, 2023
- 204
i love my friends. but i wish they wanted me dead.
they would be able to celebrate something that i did. something i caused would finally be a good thing. a justice. an end to the life of something that doesn't deserve to live.
the thought of them mourning me makes me feel both sickeningly happy and deafeningly sad.
they would be shocked, right?
i've only ever left inklings of my problems for them to pick up on. i know how it feels to be vented to and not know how to deal with it.. so despite me desperately wanting to be saved, i keep quiet.
especially my closest three. would they cry? would they leave the internet for a while to cope? would they move on with their days burdened by guilt of "not being able to save me"? would they care about me enough to notice my dissappearence until it's too late?
they're the only things that make me feel like life is worth living. maybe if they hated me, i wouldn't have to stay here anymore.
i hope they realize soon enough horribly selfish i am. i don't deserve them.
they would be able to celebrate something that i did. something i caused would finally be a good thing. a justice. an end to the life of something that doesn't deserve to live.
the thought of them mourning me makes me feel both sickeningly happy and deafeningly sad.
they would be shocked, right?
i've only ever left inklings of my problems for them to pick up on. i know how it feels to be vented to and not know how to deal with it.. so despite me desperately wanting to be saved, i keep quiet.
especially my closest three. would they cry? would they leave the internet for a while to cope? would they move on with their days burdened by guilt of "not being able to save me"? would they care about me enough to notice my dissappearence until it's too late?
they're the only things that make me feel like life is worth living. maybe if they hated me, i wouldn't have to stay here anymore.
i hope they realize soon enough horribly selfish i am. i don't deserve them.
