elizabeth.luck

elizabeth.luck

Eliminate your map.
Mar 10, 2019
124
Right now, I'm sorting through all of my stuff and trying to get things together so it's not such a burden when I die. I wish I could converse with someone trustworthy about this as in truly, in person verbalize about this whole dreaded process. I still go to therapy but if I told her what I did today, they would surely lock me up. Planning everything actually makes me feel really calm. I can't wait for this to all be over.
 
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Mr. Hang Man

Mr. Hang Man

Just hanging around
Mar 11, 2019
69
Well whatever you did I hope you know people will still support you here.
 
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R

Roberto

Wizard
Jan 19, 2019
684
Right now, I'm sorting through all of my stuff and trying to get things together so it's not such a burden when I die. I wish I could converse with someone trustworthy about this as in truly, in person verbalize about this whole dreaded process. I still go to therapy but if I told her what I did today, they would surely lock me up. Planning everything actually makes me feel really calm. I can't wait for this to all be over.
Since I got my amytriptiline cocktail with me, I feel much better knowing I can ctb whenever I want. It scares me the idea but I think it's not the moment yet.
 
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Never Free

Never Free

Student
Feb 6, 2019
177
Since I got my amytriptiline cocktail with me, I feel much better knowing I can ctb whenever I want. It scares me the idea but I think it's not the moment yet.
Is it really reliable? I could prob get this drug Rx. I've tried booze, clonidine, and prozosin mix and just got busted nose, and prob concussion.
 
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Roberto

Wizard
Jan 19, 2019
684
Is it really reliable? I could prob get this drug Rx. I've tried booze, clonidine, and prozosin mix and just got busted nose, and prob concussion.
I tried to find statistics and information about reliability of amytriptiline cocktail, but I couldn't find them.
If I fail, I will try Sodium Nitrite. Or may be CO method.
I just tried by taking alcohol with 500mg diazepam and a lots antidepressants. But I failed. Just diazepam with alcohol it didn't work for me. I could die, but would be for the lack of ingesting food or water I think. I was very thin in those days.
 
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Never Free

Never Free

Student
Feb 6, 2019
177
I tried to find statistics and information about reliability of amytriptiline cocktail, but I couldn't find them.
If I fail, I will try Sodium Nitrite. Or may be CO method.
I just tried by taking alcohol with 500mg diazepam and a lots antidepressants. But I failed. Just diazepam with alcohol it didn't work for me. I could die, but would be for the lack of ingesting food or water I think. I was very thin in those days.
Benzos have an incredibly high OD threshold even with booze. Especially Valium. Dehydration is easier than starving. I think refeeding syndrome is easier than straight up starving though. I'm worried about commitment though, like to a psych jail.
 
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Roberto

Wizard
Jan 19, 2019
684
Benzos have an incredibly high OD threshold even with booze. Especially Valium. Dehydration is easier than starving. I think refeeding syndrome is easier than straight up starving though. I'm worried about commitment though, like to a psych jail.
I would love to be in a psych jail. No more guiltiness for being useless without any certification. Once the doctors admit I'm useless, I'l feel better without job. I've been interned a pair of times in a hospital for mind related stuff, and I loved to be there. I felt with my own people.
 
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Never Free

Never Free

Student
Feb 6, 2019
177
I would love to be in a psych jail. No more guiltiness for being useless without any certification. Once the doctors admit I'm useless, I'l feel better without job. I've been interned a pair of times in a hospital for mind related stuff, and I loved to be there. I felt with my own people.
I don't. I feel restricted. I feel my rights taken away. Violation of privacy. I often don't agree with what drugs they believe I should take. I've been admittedly lied about in court, to be "legally" forced on drugs.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,798
I wished there were pro-choice counselors too. I have never personally opened up about suicide or death with them as it's too risky to even broach the subject (just one little misinterpretation can cause a world of hell (getting locked up against my will and other consequences that follow from that).
 
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Roberto

Wizard
Jan 19, 2019
684
I wished there were pro-choice counselors too. I have never personally opened up about suicide or death with them as it's too risky to even broach the subject (just one little misinterpretation can cause a world of hell (getting locked up against my will and other consequences that follow from that).
In my case I admited openly that I will suicide and my psychologist says it's ok. We can't disallow you to do it.
 
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