Venting I wish people would stop asking if I'm still suicidal

[ferrie]

Since my attempt in March, I get asked at least a couple times a week if I'm still actively suicidal by family members. I'm always honest & say yes, and then they want a hug and kind of awkwardly walk away so like... What's even the point of asking lol? I'm not going to just magically recover in a few days, and it's helping no one to keep bringing it up. It makes them upset bc they don't like the answer, and it just agitates my anxiety & desperation to just ctb already

 

[sugarh1gh]

Yeah that's partially why I am planning mine throughly (so no one can find me if unsuccesful) and not telling everyone. It's annoying when people ask about that doing nothing to make me feel better.

 

[ferrie]

Yeah that's partially why I am planning mine throughly (so no one can find me if unsuccesful) and not telling everyone. It's annoying when people ask about that doing nothing to make me feel better.

Ironically enough, a huge part of the reason I even want to ctb is bc of the way they've handled being concerned that I would. In February, I wanted to recover & told my exes that I was living with that I was suicidal bc I knew they would get me committed. I did really well at that hospital & felt a lot better upon discharge, but my ex gf told my parents when I was being brought back home despite knowing I didn't want any of my family to know I was in the hospital. My mother and grandma showed up to literally kidnap me. I attempted 2 days later & got found by my mother. Since being released from the hospital for the attempt, I've been under constant watch with barely any room to breathe & my entire life has gone to shit just bc of people's "concern"

 

[sugarh1gh]

Ironically enough, a huge part of the reason I even want to ctb is bc of the way they've handled being concerned that I would. In February, I wanted to recover & told my exes that I was living with that I was suicidal bc I knew they would get me committed. I did really well at that hospital & felt a lot better upon discharge, but my ex gf told my parents when I was being brought back home despite knowing I didn't want any of my family to know I was in the hospital. My mother and grandma showed up to literally kidnap me. I attempted 2 days later & got found by my mother. Since being released from the hospital for the attempt, I've been under constant watch with barely any room to breathe & my entire life has gone to shit just bc of people's "concern"

I am so sorry about what happened to you through your ex. That is terrible outing and makes me feel angry too. I would never want my family to know until it's done.

Given the context, they are likely to keep you under constant watch as long as you keep being honest and say yes to suicidal thoughts I think. Maybe plan on breaking out?

 

[set0553]

Since my attempt in March, I get asked at least a couple times a week if I'm still actively suicidal by family members. I'm always honest & say yes, and then they want a hug and kind of awkwardly walk away so like... What's even the point of asking lol? I'm not going to just magically recover in a few days, and it's helping no one to keep bringing it up. It makes them upset bc they don't like the answer, and it just agitates my anxiety & desperation to just ctb already

Always really hated it when my family would would look at me strangely and say that I'm sick and need help.. it was infuriating. After a few of my responses they don't ask anymore if I'm suicidal.

 

[ferrie]

I am so sorry about what happened to you through your ex. That is terrible outing and makes me feel angry too. I would never want my family to know until it's done.

Given the context, they are likely to keep you under constant watch as long as you keep being honest and say yes to suicidal thoughts I think. Maybe plan on breaking out?

Thank you. I hope everything goes smoothly for you bc I wouldn't wish the kind of situation I'm in on anyone

Honestly, I think it would be more suspicious if I wasn't honest atp. Breaking out is kind of the plan though! I've moved in with my dad bc no one will let me move back to my apartment & he's not micromanaging me as much as my mom. I get some time alone that I'm using to try to secure options. He's going to be gone for a week in June & everyone else that lives here will be mostly out of the house, so I'm thinking that's my best window

 

[Dusk till dawn]

If i were you then i would go into covert mode and keep these things to myself, i can almost guarantee you that your family will not respect your autonomy when you decide it's over, they will do everything in their capacity to ruin everything for you and make your life go into a shithole under excuses of "trying to save a fellow family member"

Saviour complex and emotions will get the better of them

If you don't want to end up detained in a hospital while being constantly monitored by cameras everywhere and your family then keep your intentions to suicide private, i recommend you tell them your life got better and you're no longer suicidal, they'll be a pain in the ass when you decide you are tired of life and it's over

This is just my advice based on my experience

 

[ferrie]

Always really hated it when my family would would look at me strangely and say that I'm sick and need help.. it was infuriating. After a few of my responses they don't ask anymore if I'm suicidal.

It's always annoying when ppl ask, but it also seems really shitty that they would give you weird looks about it. I'm sorry that your family are so unsupportive. What weirdos to put down someone who's struggling when THEY'RE the ones that asked

If i were you then i would go into covert mode and keep these things to myself, i can almost guarantee you that your family will not respect your autonomy when you decide it's over, they will do everything in their capacity to ruin everything for you and make your life go into a shithole under excuses of "trying to save a fellow family member"

Saviour complex and emotions will get the better of them

If you don't want to end up detained in a hospital while being constantly monitored by cameras everywhere and your family then keep your intentions to suicide private, i recommend you tell them your life got better and you're no longer suicidal, they'll be a pain in the ass when you decide you are tired of life and it's over

This is just my advice based on my experience

Oh I'm not telling them that I intend to commit suicide. I'm definitely downplaying how bad it is. It would just also be suspicious to just suddenly be better, they know enough to know that's a warning sign. I definitely don't want to end up in the psych ward again

 

[sugarh1gh]

Thank you. I hope everything goes smoothly for you bc I wouldn't wish the kind of situation I'm in on anyone

Honestly, I think it would be more suspicious if I wasn't honest atp. Breaking out is kind of the plan though! I've moved in with my dad bc no one will let me move back to my apartment & he's not micromanaging me as much as my mom. I get some time alone that I'm using to try to secure options. He's going to be gone for a week in June & everyone else that lives here will be mostly out of the house, so I'm thinking that's my best window

That's good! I am glad you will have some time alone. Not just for ctb, but it's important to have your own time. I hope your plan goes well for you to find peace.

And thank you for your wish

 

[permanently tired]

My dad keeps asking me, how I'm doing or if I'm ok or that he just wants me to be happy. I just say I'm ok bc he'll just be upset if I say anything else. Why even bother asking me then tbh. It's quite irritating and my proclivity for mood swings doesn't help when anything can set me off. My family pesters me to no end and I just want to be dead or alone. Maybe not a good thing to imagine, but I'll picture them dying and think how nice it would be to go home to empty place where no one will disturb me. Ofc even if it did happen, it's only a temporary fix as I don't want to grow old regardless.

 

[fly]

Thats fckn strong of ya to be honest. Good luck CTB