Venting I wish I wasn't what I am

[Painless_end]

First, I wish I weren't born at all

But since I am born, with no control over it, I wish I wasn't who I am.

That may be easy, you say, just change your attitude, be positive and mentally strong blah blah blah

Do you think I would post here if I was all of the above ?

I have mental problems that make me feel like I have holes in the brain, where other people have brain cells for mental maturity and development. I think if you got those, you would also, in the absence of any other mental problems, be much more normal and functional as an adult. Thus having a higher chance to find a healthy partner, reproduce and reach physical old age.

But no such potential exists for me.

I am honestly living on like a shell. I can't bring myself to die. I go back to my very first sentence. I wish a person like me was never born.

Trust me, life or evolution has no benefit from birthing a person like me.

I hope I die quickly and peacefully. Death seems like the only way out of this nightmare.

 

[Midgardsorm]

That may be easy, you say, just change your attitude, be positive and mentally strong blah blah blah

That's the first thing a therapist would say to you.

The truth is, no one can change completely. You are born somewhere, with some people, with a particular wealth and most importantly with a specific set of genes.

Although some of that can be changed, mostly will stay with you for your entire life.

When you "Change your attitude","Mentality", you're only getting ready to accept who you are. The question is: What if you don't want to accept who you are?

People always forget that the phrase: "We play with the cards we are dealt with."

 

[Snake of Eden]

When you "Change your attitude","Mentality", you're only getting ready to accept who you are. The question is: What if you don't want to accept who you are?

People always forget that the phrase: "We play with the cards we are dealt with."

What if you can't accept who you are? In body, mind and spirit

 

[FuneralCry]

I also wish I was not me. In my case, everything is hopeless and it has been that way from the start. I'm sorry you are suffering so much. I wish I was never born, we were all perfectly fine not existing until we were forced to live. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[Midgardsorm]

What if you can't accept who you are? In body, mind and spirit

@Graf von Leiningen quoted Jack London comparing life to a game of poker recently:

"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.' Well, any poker player can tell you that sometimes playing well requires you to fold"

 

[NoPointToContinue]

Change can only come from who you are. They are not separate things. And if who you were suitable for that change, you probably wouldn't be here anyway. I'm not trying to say it is not possible to change, but we have to be realistic. Fantasizing about change while ignoring the one who has to change is just wishful thinking.

 

[Painless_end]

Change can only come from who you are. They are not separate things. And if who you were suitable for that change, you probably wouldn't be here anyway. I'm not trying to say it is not possible to change, but we have to be realistic. Fantasizing about change while ignoring the one who has to change is just wishful thinking.

I appreciate your honesty and bluntness. We should talk if we can. Pm me.

 

[NoPointToContinue]

I appreciate your honesty and bluntness. We should talk if we can. Pm me.

I would love to, but this is probably my last 1 or 2 days, won't be able to check forum often

 

[Sittichmutter]

First, I wish I weren't born at all

But since I am born, with no control over it, I wish I wasn't who I am.

That may be easy, you say, just change your attitude, be positive and mentally strong blah blah blah

Do you think I would post here if I was all of the above ?

I have mental problems that make me feel like I have holes in the brain, where other people have brain cells for mental maturity and development. I think if you got those, you would also, in the absence of any other mental problems, be much more normal and functional as an adult. Thus having a higher chance to find a healthy partner, reproduce and reach physical old age.

But no such potential exists for me.

I am honestly living on like a shell. I can't bring myself to die. I go back to my very first sentence. I wish a person like me was never born.

Trust me, life or evolution has no benefit from birthing a person like me.

I hope I die quickly and peacefully. Death seems like the only way out of this nightmare.

Dar Curious89, I am sorry that you feel That way. I know what tou mean. I wish I could help you. For me, doing small acts of kindness and charity to others really helped me. Evertone hurts. Helping other people takes the Focus out of my own misery. Feel hugged.

 

[Painless_end]

I would love to, but this is probably my last 1 or 2 days, won't be able to check forum often

How so ? Are you planning to quit the forum ?

 

[NoPointToContinue]

How so ? Are you planning to quit the forum ?

I'm planning on ctb actually. I hope I will be able go through with it.

 

[Sittichmutter]

I'm planning on ctb actually. I hope I will be able go through with it.

Please, wait a little longer. Don't do this now.

I'm planning on ctb actually. I hope I will be able go through with it.

We are missing nice and sensitive people in The world. Why just the good ones die? Why The assholes never die? It is so unfair.

 

[meetapple]

Please, wait a little longer. Don't do this now.

We are missing nice and sensitive people in The world. Why just the good ones die? Why The assholes never die? It is so unfair.

Survival of the fittest.

Trust me, life or evolution has no benefit from birthing a person like me.

That's not your responsibility. Your responsibility is towards yourself.