Venting I wish I had the means

[Marz]

To purchase more peaceful methods. Or at least afford traveling somewhere to do it or living in a good location.
Like, literally the only two options I have at hand are jumping off my balcony or the bag method with carbon dioxide (yes, dioxide, because I cannot afford other gasses). I have even considered alcohol poisoning. Like, drinking a whole bottle of vodka in less than an hour. I cannot hang myself here. My SI keeps me from jumping and I've tried doing it drunk beforehand. Like jsfc. If I had SN I'd just take it in a heartbeat said and done. I hate it when people tell me it's affordable but like, I have no job, I'm an immigrant where I live so I cannot purchase things online from out of the country bc of box offices/mailing system, I don't own the place I live so it's complicated receiving packages. I'm the most useless shit on fucking earth. I swear. I'm sticking around for the festivities, but in January I wanna be off. I don't even have a date but I don't care.
Why is it so hard? Why can I never make it right? My executive dysfunction deters me from succeeding every time. It's so stupid.

 

[waterbottleman]

=( sorry that sucks.

 

[jgm63]

So when you order packages, do other people open them ?

 

[Marz]

So when you order packages, do other people open them ?

I live with my mother and she most likely would. But I cannot even use the mailing system without a national ID in on itself.
Now, I don't think the aduana would consfiscate the SN, but they would think something's fishy if I could not provide proper documentation.
The only way I'd be able to pull it off is asking someone else to do the whole thing but I have no one. So yay I guess.

 

[WallsClosingInn]

Same for me.only options i have is jumping which never work i get paralazyed every time i stand on the window.tried partial hanging multiple times dont work,no job not even credit card to order sn.so yea stuck,dont know what to doo....

 

[jgm63]

I live with my mother and she most likely would. But I cannot even use the mailing system without a national ID in on itself.
Now, I don't think the aduana would consfiscate the SN, but they would think something's fishy if I could not provide proper documentation.
The only way I'd be able to pull it off is asking someone else to do the whole thing but I have no one. So yay I guess.

Could you find someone who lives near you and offer to pay them a little bit of money so you could order some things to their name and address ?
You can explain you want to order some things in private, but your family open all of your packages....
SN is legal to order, so there would not be any legal complications to worry about.

Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. Things may seem hard, but with the right help they can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.

 

[Marz]

Could you find someone who lives near you and offer to pay them a little bit of money so you could order some things to their name and address ?
You can explain you want to order some things in private, but your family open all of your packages....
SN is legal to order, so there would not be any legal complications to worry about.

Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. Things may seem hard, but with the right help they can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.

It scares me possibly involving someone else though. I'll see what I can do.

I cannot get medical help here of any kind without an ID actually. It sucks a lot. I don't live in the US but healthcare is also privatized here. :/

 

[jgm63]

It scares me possibly involving someone else though. I'll see what I can do.

I cannot get medical help here of any kind without an ID actually. It sucks a lot. I don't live in the US but healthcare is also privatized here. :/

Perhaps you can order things in your name, but at the address of the person who will help you.
And obviously you would not tell that person what you are ordering.
I would think it would be unlikely that that person could get into any trouble for that.
But of course, you need to check the risks for yourself, and apply your judgement....

Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. Things may seem hard, but with the right help they can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.