Venting I wish I finished it

[Terminated]

I've recently finished a 3 day cold-turkey alcohol 'detox'. I have been practicing the partial hanging method mentioned here: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/how-to-hang-yourself.1183 . I hit the correct arteries the first time but I bitched out. Every time I tried again I kept hitting the jugulars. I want to finish the deed here in my home, but I can't let my family find my hanged vessel. I think I'll have to ctb in a nearby woodlands.
I really wished I completed the 'practice' hanging a few days ago.

 

[NoChoice]

Yeah had my setup and was fully committed, as I began to hang I got a rush of euphoria which urged me to stop. Now I have to mentally prepare all over again.

 

[Terminated]

It really is harder than everyone says it is. For me, the lower placement of the the rope reduces the coughing/choking response. It varies depending on the person.

 

[Terminated]

Yeah had my setup and was fully committed, as I began to hang I got a rush of euphoria which urged me to stop. Now I have to mentally prepare all over again.

When you constrict the carotid artery it's fairly painless and you should pass out in 5-10 sec. That's what everyone says anyway.

 

[NoChoice]

When you constrict the carotid artery it's fairly painless and you should pass out in 5-10 sec. That's what everyone says anyway.

It is, I was probably somewhere in that range but it felt euphoric, which is why I assume some people do it for the rush... Basically if I had a button I could press to end it, I would've done it 2 years ago yet every time somewhere along the process of carrying the desire out, survival instinct, doubt, regret, second guessing etc. kicks in and causes me to reconsider or stop. Although I've just started testing and only started 1 attempt, I know I will find it within me to subdue all of this, but it isn't easy.

 

[Terminated]

It is, I was probably somewhere in that range but it felt euphoric, which is why I assume some people do it for the rush... Basically if I had a button I could press to end it, I would've done it 2 years ago yet every time somewhere along the process of carrying the desire out, survival instinct, doubt, regret, second guessing etc. kicks in and causes me to reconsider or stop. Although I've just started testing and only started 1 attempt, I know I will find it within me to subdue all of this, but it isn't easy.

I'm starting to understand the survival instinct that overcomes you near the end. Dani Paradox and NoLifeNoPain mentioned it in the mega thread.