I wish I could take away the fear

[Krossクロス]

I wish I could truly take away my fear of the unknown to go through with my suicide. There is nothing worse than living after a certain age. I truly feel there is little reason for my existence. I have always felt like an aging mistake. 34. No children. No true independence. All of my ventures end in devastating result. I want to die but the fear and the sadness I will cause keeps me in a paralyzed state of mind. There is no reason for me to still be here still. I'm a child created out of lust. Nothing more. I grow tired of seeing wonderful places in the world I will never reach. Seeing levels of happiness I could never obtain. If there truly is a god, he's quite cruel. I used to be very social. But now I fear that I do nothing but annoy and upset other human beings. I've gone from performer to complete isolation. I just want my miserable life to end. Nothing more. Pathetic people like myself have no right to mingle with happy, independent and smart human beings that will leave amazing legacies. Family to always speak of their wonderful deeds. There isn't enough booze or cannabis that can numb me enough to do the deed. Hell is living. There is no greater suffering. Why can't I do this ?

 

[Lawliet]

i really feel for you. i'm almost 30, no job or kids or partner. i'm disabled and constantly compared to my sister. who is extremely successful. i am looking for the courage as well. suicide is an extremely hard thing to do. it's incredible brave, unlike what most people say. if it were easy, so many more people would do it.

one day, you may find the courage. and if you do not, i hope that life is kinder to you someday.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's true that existing is hell and the way that I see it, to exist means to suffer. I wish that it was easier for us all to finally be free from this cruel world, as I believe death to be the absence of all pain and harm.