F
floofhook
Member
- Sep 24, 2020
- 39
I'm sorry all I do here is rant about how much I hate my life. This is the only platform where I feel I could open up without people commenting the suicide hotline or some other meaningless encouragements.
I've made some choices that determined the path I'm currently living in, and it had been quite horrible. I chose stupidly and poorly and I'm not even sure if my choices are the reason for my misery or the broken system that we live in.
I just saw my peer get my dream job even though I'm better qualified. I wish I never chose this line of work. I feel humiliated and like there is no point in any effort I made.
This isn't the only reason I want to die. Not even the major one, just something that bothered me today.
Whenever I feel depressed like this I wish I was able to just go ahead and end it. I hate telling myself excuses and delaying. It makes me feel afraid that I will never be ready to attempt or that when I do I'll chicken out, which would be my worst nightmare. I've decided two years ago to end it either if my mom dies or is no longer dependant on me, which I don't think will happen but here's to hoping.
Are any of you around waiting for similar reasons?
I've made some choices that determined the path I'm currently living in, and it had been quite horrible. I chose stupidly and poorly and I'm not even sure if my choices are the reason for my misery or the broken system that we live in.
I just saw my peer get my dream job even though I'm better qualified. I wish I never chose this line of work. I feel humiliated and like there is no point in any effort I made.
This isn't the only reason I want to die. Not even the major one, just something that bothered me today.
Whenever I feel depressed like this I wish I was able to just go ahead and end it. I hate telling myself excuses and delaying. It makes me feel afraid that I will never be ready to attempt or that when I do I'll chicken out, which would be my worst nightmare. I've decided two years ago to end it either if my mom dies or is no longer dependant on me, which I don't think will happen but here's to hoping.
Are any of you around waiting for similar reasons?