i wish I could see people's reaction to my death

[Tionally]

I wish I could see how people react after I ctb but it's obviously not possible since I'll be dead. I know it seems a bit attention seeking but most people like attention. I just want how many of them would miss me and how much I actually mattered to people around me. I often imagine how would they react to my suicide notes or on my funeral. Realistically speaking it probably wouldn't make a big impact but it's nice thinking that people cared

 

[LonelyStarrySky]

I sometimes wish to know as well, would they even care that I left? I wonder how would my body be dealt with immediately after I am found. What would my family and the last of my friends think after hearing that I had gone away. Would the people I want to show up at my funeral actually show up or not even care about me and continue on their day as normal. It makes me really sad to think that nobody would care about me after I die.

 

[Iris Blue]

I too wonder this a lot. It might sound a bit mean or selfish but part of me wants to see how the people react who I tried to reach out to beforehand and didn't give me the help I needed. Not so much in a malicious type of way more of a "do you wish you could change it if you could" way if that makes any sense. I'm not sure how to word it without it making me seem like a bad person.

 

[Unknown21]

Unfortunately u won't even know that u r dead.

 

[flower_g1rl]

ideally i would go at the time when nobody cares about me anymore. but thats only a dream. i would like to see what you describe, too

 

[L0nely]

I can't even say how much I relate. I feel weird thinking about it because, like you said, I'll be dead and it won't change anything for me but to know that you were somewhat important to others even when you didn't feel like it is nice. It's nice to feel wanted and needed.

 

[geraldofrivia]

I feel the same a lot, I wanna see the impact it makes on the world but who cares

 

[Life_and_Death]

ive been questioning if this is whats stopping me. i dont really have much of a reason to continue, literally just my cat (and even that sucks because all i do is sit here thinking about how shes gonna die because i lost her sister (my therapy pet) back in may)... but for some reason even though nothing is stopping me i havent.