i have a job that has always been WFH, but in many ways i essentially live as a NEET.. i will probably be fired eventually or just run out of the motivation to continue pretending to work and become a full fledged NEET.. the life i have now already is so bleak and hopeless with no real way it could possibly improve.. i can only imagine once i inevitably give into the exhaustion that being a NEET with nothing left will be so much worse.. i think it seems nice to not have to do anything, and don't get me wrong, work is generally pretty evil, but if it can be a means to achieve some dream, it might just be worth it.. but if you just fall to complete stagnation, it feels as though you've essentially given up on even trying to ever be okay.. a place where hopelessness and exhaustion turn to inaction and fog, which eventually turns to complete disconnection from reality, until you're able to finally to fully ready yourself for the harsh and sudden descent to void..
the worst part sounds like it might be being stuck in an unending state of avolition, now so paralyzed by your own mind, you become unable to even move from one place.. the idea of even trying to talk to someone or eat, or do any basic thing people usually do without thinking becomes some insurmountable task.. and worst of all, actually putting an end to this misery, this life that has already died spiritually is now increasingly becoming more difficult to act on, as you lay increasingly more helpless in your frozen veil of panic..
i say this as someone who feels these things setting in more and more, and it feels like i can see my eventual demise foretold happening in a similar manner.. i think i'm losing the point here, but being a NEET can probably be the beginning to the end in some ways, if you let it become an excuse to begin giving in to the bad as it overtakes you and eventually consumes all in its path.. the end to the pain isn't a bad thing, but the path to it can be laden with increasingly unbearable states of suffering, each one somehow more terrible than those proceeding it..