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huntermellow
another bpd death statistic
- Aug 6, 2024
- 91
if i could forget all the bad memories then i would have no reason to kill myself because it would be as if they never even happened. but my mind is like a prison i'm constantly remembering and trapped inside it with no way out except for when i fall asleep. and even when i fall asleep the bad memories sometimes invade my dreams as well. i wish i could just forget so i could finally feel at peace with myself. i hate remembering all the bad things that happened to me and the bad things i've done and how people treated me and how they feel about me. i can't live with myself. there's people who have been through so much more traumatic stuff than me and probably have ptsd but continue to heal and live and even if they remember they allow themselves to cry over what happened but don't let it hold themself back. but i don't want to remember anything at all. if suffering and pain is an inevitable part of life then i don't want to live. i don't want to keep suffering and feeling pain i've already suffered enough. i've had more bad days than good and i don't want that to keep being the norm in my life.