Venting i wish i could care about myself more

[waqs]

i rot in bed all day, and as it gets colder i rot in bed freezing. i wish i had the energy for any self care at all.. like i can only bring myself to shower when absolutely needed (like when i go out, which at the minimum is 2 days a week), same with brushing my teeth. my hygiene just sucks and im so embarrassed about it... im a grown women i should be able to take care of myself but i just cant. i cant bring myself to do anything, i barely even get out of bed to eat.. idk how to improve myself and i hate it, i hate looking in the mirror and seeing the worst version of myself, but its the only version of me i know. im gross and i hate it so much :(

 

[JustDreamer]

I feel you and am in the same boats. Currently trying to find the energy to get up and shower right now but my body feels like lead. I feel like it's still a small win that you shower before going out since it's kind of the same thing I do too.

I know there's plenty of people who struggle with even that. Recently even I've been struggle to brush my teeth before leaving the house and often resort to gum chewing all day… so you're not alone.

I read it's something like executive disfunction and sometimes breaking the task into smaller ones can help at least sometimes it helps for me? Sometimes I'll just sit in the bathroom for an hour on my phone before I'm able to start the shower and then it can take another 10 minutes to will myself to just get in and start.

Sending love.

 

[BrainSplatter]

Yeah I'm the same, sometimes I get these short bursts of motivation think I'm finally turning things around but it never lasts. The only reason I even manage to get out of bed most days is because of stimulants

 

[fromange]

Hey. You're not gross. There's an "ideal human" society expects that's independent, competent, beautiful and productive. I think straying from that in any way is how I would define disability. It's not your fault. Laziness isn't really a thing when you think about it either. I use it on myself too, but I really hate that word.

In an ideal world there would be someone you call to help you, for cheap or for free. I'm not really sure if a governmental or non governmental service like that exists where you live. But just being able to ask for help is self care. Just noticing you're not as well as you'd like to be is self care. I'm proud of you for still hanging in there. Don't be embarrassed. You already love yourself and you're a good person for it.

 

[monetpompo]

hello fellow gangster
i try hard to be motivational towards other people because i don't like when they're sad but honestly it's really hard for me to want to keep on going when i feel like this. i get horrifying codependent on people during my times of loneliness so i've been trying to detach from everyone around me so i can depend on myself. but i can't. i rely on other people to even want to get out of bed and if i have no one to wake up for i end up wishing that i was dead. i have no one in my life i really care about that much, so i don't think there's anyone that would be willing to listen to me talk about how i feel. i feel self conscious about the fact i exist because i feel like such an embarrassment to every around me. but i don't know if anyone even really thinks of me. i don't want to eat much, but i get up to brush my teeth and wash my face as a bare minimum to avoid cavities, since i'm prone to them.

i know it doesn't really help you to have someone that relates to you, but know that you aren't alone in feeling this way. no one ever really talks about how easy it is to sink into yourself. i feel like i'm retreating into the same person i was in high school and being unable to move for hours just makes me feel so guilty as someone that's supposed to be an adult. everyone thinks i'm younger than i actually am and i hate it. i wish people could see me as a real adult.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

Self care is tricky. Maybe get nicer toothpaste and maybe new toothbrushes , it's easier to brush your teeth if the taste/feeling is enjoyable.