Discussion I Wish I Could be Religious

[Achromatix]

Please forgive me if you are religious, I do not mean to offend anyone by my thoughts. I just feel confused and could use some opinions...

Sometimes, I wish I wouldn't question things so much. I see my family around me live as happy Christians, but I feel like I don't fit in. I want to have the peace and happiness they have. They live their lives purposefully knowing that God has a plan for them or made them special, but I just can't believe that like they can.

How can there be a God who loves you unconditionally, yet makes you prove yourself to love you? I don't understand how anyone can hate love (lgbtq) or make people live with pain just to take it away only when they praise him enough and follow his rules. It feels like an abusive relationship. Heaven is described as a place to worship God all of the time, but is that really all there is to life? Suffer only to worship the person who cause you grief in the first place? Some may argue that the devil causes the pain, but it just doesn't make sense why God would allow it.

I want to have something to believe in. I want to feel purposeful, but I think that's all religion is anyway: a way to cope with uselessness and inevitable death. I don't mean to sound defensive in my replies, and I know I'm forgetting some thoughts that are usually on my mind, but I just have so much doubt. Please feel free to share thoughts on religion that may help give me some clarity. There's no right or wrong answers imo as long as no one is being insulted for believing what they choose. Please be kind to one another. I would like to hear from people from all types of religious backgrounds to understand from different perspectives.


Thanks everyone

Just an after thought: I put this thread in the suicide discussion because I feel like I want to ctb very soon, but I was curious if religion could save me. On the other hand it feels like a distraction or excuse to live. I just don't understand how more people don't see the pointlessness of life, but I think that's where religion comes into play. Any thoughts?

 

[Still here]

I can relate.. I was once a church goer but after I found out some nasty things about my church I stopped and since then my need to ctb increased tremendously, coz I felt like there is nothing to live for, since I had my all hopes firmly planted in that church...

 

[Achromatix]

I can relate.. I was once a church goer but after I found out some nasty things about my church I stopped and since then my need to ctb increased tremendously, coz I felt like there is nothing to live for, since I had my all hopes firmly planted in that church...

Sometimes I just wish I could see what the average church goer sees or any religion at that. I feel like if I could then I could have hope too... Sometimes the arrogant thought of "I've over thought this so much that people who are religious must be blind to it" comes to mind, but I'm hoping I'm the blind one who's simply missing something.

 

[nails]

ah you just like me fr, twin

i see so many religious people thrive while going through the worst shit, or even people who pushed through the most abysmal situations after devoting themselves to religion; i envy it so much. it's definitely just cope, but it's still something i want. i have nothing to fall back on or look towards, everything is so empty. my religious family members always respond my struggles and even tragedies within our family with "god has a plan", "i'll be praying for ___ ", shit like that. thinking everything will be okay because it has to be—it all seems like so much fun and i'm so jealous.
i grew up in a pretty religious household (nothing super crazy, but still a bit much at times), so it's what i believed in really early on. i miss being able to feel somewhat hopeful after praying, but it was so distressing when i realized that it didn't do anything.
recently, i've tried forcing myself into religion and whatnot, but it doesn't work. i just can't bring myself to believe in something like that. i really wish i could, though.

anyways, your post was very interesting to read. i'm wishing you the best and i hope you find some peace <3

 

[Achromatix]

ah you just like me fr, twin

i see so many religious people thrive while going through the worst shit, or even people who pushed through the most abysmal situations after devoting themselves to religion; i envy it so much. it's definitely just cope, but it's still something i want. i have nothing to fall back on or look towards, everything is so empty. my religious family members always respond my struggles and even tragedies within our family with "god has a plan", "i'll be praying for ___ ", shit like that. thinking everything will be okay because it has to be—it all seems like so much fun and i'm so jealous.
i grew up in a pretty religious household (nothing super crazy, but still a bit much at times), so it's what i believed in really early on. i miss being able to feel somewhat hopeful after praying, but it was so distressing when i realized that it didn't do anything.
recently, i've tried forcing myself into religion and whatnot, but it doesn't work. i just can't bring myself to believe in something like that. i really wish i could, though.

anyways, your post was very interesting to read. i'm wishing you the best and i hope you find some peace <3

I'm happy and sad to have people understand my feelings. On one hand I'm not alone in my thinking (hey twin) but on the other hand I'm not alone in my thinking (sad hours fr).

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

It sounds like your understanding of religion is very based on fundamentalist Christian lies. If you truly want to see if religion as a whole is for you, look into other religions.

One of my closest friends is Pagan, and I'm Jewish. Understanding of G-d (or gods) and what he/they actually do vary. I enjoy Judaism because it encourages questions and carving your own path. But I'm also spiritual/a witch.

Maybe you need to find your own "god"? Even believing in the universe as a living being (though those beliefs vary in how sentient said universe is) is super valid!

At the end of it all, even if you don't believe in anything, what matters is accepting that. Chasing religion if "believing" doesn't fit you is just fruitless. Wishing you luck <3

 

[Achromatix]

It sounds like your understanding of religion is very based on fundamentalist Christian lies. If you truly want to see if religion as a whole is for you, look into other religions.

One of my closest friends is Pagan, and I'm Jewish. Understanding of G-d (or gods) and what he/they actually do vary. I enjoy Judaism because it encourages questions and carving your own path. But I'm also spiritual/a witch.

Maybe you need to find your own "god"? Even believing in the universe as a living being (though those beliefs vary in how sentient said universe is) is super valid!

At the end of it all, even if you don't believe in anything, what matters is accepting that. Chasing religion if "believing" doesn't fit you is just fruitless. Wishing you luck <3

That is all probably most likely very true... I've always been curious of other religions outside of what my family believes in, but it has always felt overwhelming to try to research. Based on how I've seen the only Christians I know react to religion (protectively and forcefully), sometimes I feel like if I tried to research another religion or join it may seem insensitive somehow. I wish I could explain it better, maybe like I'm intruding in a space that I don't belong since I'm an outsider? A part of me feels like a traitor in some ways. I would love to do more research though!

 

[bcarroll1]

From an evolutionary standpoint , things exist because they serve a purpose. There are certain elements of religion that are necessary for it to continue to exist. These are some of the ideas that dont make sense logically, but do in another context. You really have to suspend logic and reason. in the past people mainly practiced the religion of their family and didn't really question any beliefs. People weren't exposed to different ideas like they are today. I personally think there are alot of positives to religion and if I would do it over I would take the positives and just leave the negative beliefs. Basically, a more pragmatic approach rather than trying to prove all the things that were wrong or didnt make sense. Alot of people today dont have the stability that family , community , religion provide. This more than likely results in more mental health issues.

 

[nails]

I'm happy and sad to have people understand my feelings. On one hand I'm not alone in my thinking (hey twin) but on the other hand I'm not alone in my thinking (sad hours fr).

i understand 100%. it's always nice to find someone going through the same thing as you, especially if you don't have anyone else who can relate; but it's obviously sad once you realize that person is struggling just like you.

and i just realized that i didn't really respond to anything in your post, sorry. i saw someone i related to and just immediately started yapping lol.
i'm kinda slow and i'm not great at articulating my thoughts, but i hope i can provide something anyway.

the "why" behind people are so obsessed with religion is very interesting, even if it's not that deep or impressive.
of course, it usually just comes down to the fact that religion is just so ingrained in our brains and culture. it's there in all the media we consume, the ideologies are passed down generation to generation. it's just what most people are used to. aside from that, there's also the fact that as humans, we are always longing for community and purpose, and religion provides us with that.

moving away from that, i've read a few books and articles in the defense of Christianity and religion in general.
again, i'm a little slow and suck at articulating my thoughts, so i'll just give recommendations.
C.S. Lewis is a great author, he writes a lot of fiction but he is also very well known for his books on Christian apologetics, so i'll just drop some recs i think these kinds of books might contain a perspective that you're looking for. (yes i am EXTREMELY biased because he was close with J.R.R. Tolkien and i love The Hobbit and LOTR)

Mere Christianity is his most popular book on this topic and is lowk the face (i would've said bible, but that felt too ironic) of Christian apologetics. not much to say, it's just defending the existence of God, discussing the ethics of Christianity, things like that. it also introduced Lewis' Trilemma (the Lunatic, Liar, or Lord argument)—the argument that Jesus either lied to gain a following, Jesus was lied to/was so mentally ill that he wrongly believed he was God/divine, or that Jesus actually was God/divine. Lewis obviously leans into the "Lord" category, but you can find other people's takes on this as it's a point of contention.

tbh, i think you'd be fine just reading that, but i have some other recs in case you're interested:
(All by C.S. Lewis)
The Screwtape Letters: a fictional, dark comedy book about how devils try to corrupt people and steer them away from Christianity. it's a lot better than it sounds

The Problem of Pain: a book going into why pain/bad things/the concept of hell aren't reasons to believe that God can't be good.

A Grief Observed: a book Lewis wrote about the death of his wife. he questions his faith a lot in this one, but i never finished it. it wasn't bad or anything, i just never got around to finishing it.

i'm pretty anti-religion, but i think it's valuable to read up on the things you don't believe in or even preach against. idk how much you enjoy reading, but hopefully you find what you're looking for in one of the books i recommended—if you feel inclined to read any of them. obviously, it doesn't really matter if you do or don't read them.
sorry, i totally yapped there. still, i hope i helped a bit ^^

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

That is all probably most likely very true... I've always been curious of other religions outside of what my family believes in, but it has always felt overwhelming to try to research. Based on how I've seen the only Christians I know react to religion (protectively and forcefully), sometimes I feel like if I tried to research another religion or join it may seem insensitive somehow. I wish I could explain it better, maybe like I'm intruding in a space that I don't belong since I'm an outsider? A part of me feels like a traitor in some ways. I would love to do more research though!

A lot of people who find new religions come from Christianity. Like, a good bunch. And for good reason. Most Christian faiths nowadays are crawling with fascists, and they force out accepting Christians too.

You will never be intruding. Find your path.