I will never be happy

[valentineisbackyall]

I've spent the last 18 days detoxing cold turkey off fentanyl. It was the one thing that made living tolerable, and now I'm stuck alone with all the thoughts in my head being played on repeat day and night.

I will never ever be happy. Ever. What even is the fucking point? I will never experience love. I will never feel the embrace of a man. I'll never own my own home. All of the things people my age are supposed to do are so far from my grasp.

I hate living.