I will meet this weekend the woman I text day and night with for the first time and I am anxious as fuck

[noname223]

We text since 2nd January A LOT from waking up until sleeping at night. My therapist, my friends and people in this forum recommended me to meet her as soon as possible IRL. I think me and her are a little bit scared that in real life don't actually fit that well. I think online our chemistry is almost perfect. How likely is it that in real life it does not work at all? She smokes and honestly I hate the smell of cigarettes and it will be very difficult to hide that from her. But we also spoke about this potential issue. We spoke about many potential issues. We are very open and honest to each other. We both know insecurities, anxieties and paranoia. I think I will pump myself full with benzos these days which might cause sexual issues. We also talked whether we might have sex on our first date. She is very experienced and sex positive. I am a virgin at 27 and she has no problem with that. We talk a lot about sex because we both are interested in it a lot. And we also did sort of sexting. She told me maybe we will have sex at our first date. Maybe it will happen way later when we are in a relationship. I will take condoms with me just in case.

There are so many things to say. I will take the train. It will take 3 hours. Maybe we change the plan and meet where I live. So many things could go wrong. I might literally turn insane. We will spend the whole Saturday and Sunday together from 12 a.m. Saturday until Sunday maybe 5 p.m. Is this too much for the first time? The distance is an issue for a standard date.

I wll talk about the details with my therapist tomorrow. I hope she has a good advice.

 

[ma0]

I know you'll handle it great. Good luck!

 

[Warkman1]

This sounds really exciting for you good luck I hope it goes really well!!

 

[GoSan1]

We text since 2nd January A LOT from waking up until sleeping at night. My therapist, my friends and people in this forum recommended me to meet her as soon as possible IRL. I think me and her are a little bit scared that in real life don't actually fit that well. I think online our chemistry is almost perfect. How likely is it that in real life it does not work at all? She smokes and honestly I hate the smell of cigarettes and it will be very difficult to hide that from her. But we also spoke about this potential issue. We spoke about many potential issues. We are very open and honest to each other. We both know insecurities, anxieties and paranoia. I think I will pump myself full with benzos these days which might cause sexual issues. We also talked whether we might have sex on our first date. She is very experienced and sex positive. I am a virgin at 27 and she has no problem with that. We talk a lot about sex because we both are interested in it a lot. And we also did sort of sexting. She told me maybe we will have sex at our first date. Maybe it will happen way later when we are in a relationship. I will take condoms with me just in case.

There are so many things to say. I will take the train. It will take 3 hours. Maybe we change the plan and meet where I live. So many things could go wrong. I might literally turn insane. We will spend the whole Saturday and Sunday together from 12 a.m. Saturday until Sunday maybe 5 p.m. Is this too much for the first time? The distance is an issue for a standard date.

I wll talk about the details with my therapist tomorrow. I hope she has a good advice.

Please do not take any benzos, being nervous is normal, but killing your emotions off just cause you're scared could lead to a massive mistake.

Now I don't know about the rushing sex on the first date stuff, but that's each to their own. Just don't do anything you're not comfortable with :)
If you vibed online, you will vibe offline as well, don't worry. Just be yourself like you are on text and don't try to change yourself thinking it might look better...

Other than that, try to have some fun and I'm wishing you the best!

 

[Mirrory Me]

Glad you have being able to find a partner- if you can both support each other's growth, that would be great.

 

[noname223]

Please do not take any benzos, being nervous is normal, but killing your emotions off just cause you're scared could lead to a massive mistake.

Now I don't know about the rushing sex on the first date stuff, but that's each to their own. Just don't do anything you're not comfortable with :)
If you vibed online, you will vibe offline as well, don't worry. Just be yourself like you are on text and don't try to change yourself thinking it might look better...

Other than that, try to have some fun and I'm wishing you the best!

I am bipolar. Benzos don't really calm me very much down. It only Takes the edges of my insane anxiety. They don't kill my emotions at All. I have a strong magnitude of Intensity of them All the time.

 

[GoSan1]

I am bipolar. Benzos don't really calm me very much down. It only Takes the edges of my insane anxiety. They don't kill my emotions at All. I have a strong magnitude of Intensity of them All the time.

Well it was just advice, do what you feel most comfortable with. I think it would just make you "yourself" a bit more... But you got this! :D

 

[yousaidimsweet]

good luck! <3

 

[noname223]

We phoned again the whole Day. I got really paranoid and the house of Cards Fell apart. I was really paranoid about she understands how dependent I am on my Mom and that college has no future. I am pretty sure I won't survive this one. I am quite confident I kill myself soon. It is gonna be SN. Honestly, I don't See any way how to survive that. The pain is unbearable and I consider to ghost her. Maybe she will Do it on me.

I think I gonna buy the SN tomorrow. Same source as the last time. I feel like throwing up. The pain is undescribable.

 

[Young]

We phoned again the whole Day. I got really paranoid and the house of Cards Fell apart. I was really paranoid about she understands how dependent I am on my Mom and that college has no future. I am pretty sure I won't survive this one. I am quite confident I kill myself soon. It is gonna be SN. Honestly, I don't See any way how to survive that. The pain is unbearable and I consider to ghost her. Maybe she will Do it on me.

I think I gonna buy the SN tomorrow. Same source as the last time. I feel like throwing up. The pain is undescribable.

Didn't you meet her?

 

[noname223]

Didn't you meet her?

We wanted to next Week.

 

[Young]

We wanted to next Week.

Anxiety sucks, but you must give it a go. It'll be worth it to know if things work out for you guys.

 

[noname223]

Maybe it was all paranoia. I took a benzo and I am way calmer now. She reassured me couple of times she is still interested in me.