I wasted all of my formative years... I will never get another chance to live.

[56709]

The passage of time can be so hard to accept. It's so hard to accept that I let my formative years slip through my fingers in such unrewarding ways... I now have absolutely nothing, not even capital to build ANY kind of future on as it stands... All of that time, all of those opportunities are GONE and my deeds have been engraved in stone.
I will never get that time back, I will never get another chance.

Those things that I did define me, eternally. ​

An entire life gone to waste, for no reason...​

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

You speak the agony of my heart. No matter how some may assert that I can "start over" or "reinvent myself" it just wasn't in the cards for me. Yes, this is a painful reality in the cosmic lotto.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

The passage of time can be so hard to accept. It's so hard to accept that I let my formative years slip through my fingers in such unrewarding ways... I now have absolutely nothing, not even capital to build ANY kind of future on as it stands... All of that time, all of those opportunities are GONE and my deeds have been engraved in stone.
I will never get that time back, I will never get another chance.

Those things that I did define me, eternally. ​

An entire life gone to waste, for no reason...​

I used to blame myself for all my mistakes and missed opportunities. Now I'm realizing i just didn't know how to get things done because no one taught me how . For example how to use massive repetition of affirmations and visualizations to accomplish a goal. Or How to not make assumptions without testing them for truth or accuracy, how not to waste time on useless activities etc.
A lot of people blame themselves. Little do they realize at least they just didn't get the right knowledge , to know the rules of life to have a succesfull life.
But also for me it's too late now. Too little too late.

 

[mediocre]

I feel the same. Wasted so much time stuck in this flat doing absolutely nothing. Just watching tv and sleeping. Letting my anxiety keep me confined within four walls. If I could go back in time I would do every single thing differently but now i am afraid it's too late to make changes...

 

[almaranthine]

I used to blame myself for all my mistakes and missed opportunities. Now I'm realizing i just didn't know how to get things done because no one taught me how . For example how to use massive repetition of affirmations and visualizations to accomplish a goal. Or How to not make assumptions without testing them for truth or accuracy, how not to waste time on useless activities etc.
A lot of people blame themselves. Little do they realize at least they just didn't get the right knowledge , to know the rules of life to have a succesfull life.
But also for me it's too late now. Too little too late.

This is a great point. I don't absolve myself of all blame in regards to my life's mistakes and failures, but I definitely consider the fact that I was completely ill-prepared to deal with what life threw at me.
Those things do define you in this life, but perhaps not eternally. How are we to really know? Maybe reincarnation is a reality and you will get many chances in different lifetimes to right your soul. On the other hand, it's quite possible that when we die our strange consciousness dies with us, and there is no such thing as eternity. Anyways, I understand your agony, as another poster worded it. I too mourn my missed opportunities... in my academics and in love especially.

 

[c824767]

You speak the agony of my heart. No matter how some may assert that I can "start over" or "reinvent myself" it just wasn't in the cards for me. Yes, this is a painful reality in the cosmic lotto.

I do not like to hear that opportunities are limited due to a cosmic design. They are limited because the powers that be have created a global environment where "losers" do not get help unless they become rosy-glasses optimistic and buy the bullshit of capitalism/corruption. Not only that but they have created a future that the new generation is frightened of. The chickens are coming to roost and we can put names on some of the perpetrators. Most of them are male.

 

[Mizzmini45]

I feel like my life is over

 

[Cevapcici]

Oh boy, I know the feels.

I mourn my stolen youth and opportunities every single day, daydreaming about my life could have been had I had more control and retaliation power against my numerous bullies and detractors.

Saddest part is, was I given to opportunity to, I wouldn't go back in time if it was to face the same circumstances...because there's nothing I could have done to counter-effect such nightmarish circumstances. Even if I made some VERY bad decisions, it's not about my bad decisions - they were just the consequence of a destructive environment on a clueless youth with an averageish IQ.

The shitty thing about youth is that you're pretty vulnerable to older, more established, and predatory people. No matter how " good at decision making ", well prepared or strategic you are, if you don't have a strong support network in your formative years, chances are you are going to be eaten away by snarky narcissistic individuals who prey on the weakest ....and things have veeeery slight chances of going as planned in your life. Unless you develop the needed "qualities " of apathy, machiavelism, and manipulation from a VERY young age.
I don't know exactly what events what brought you to this place, but I'm pretty sure you weren't dealt with the best cards in hand to begin with. Because everyone fucks up, thing is -the consequences, and the possibilities to find a solution are going to be different for everyone according to their circumstances and whether or not they have the time , energy, and resources.

I've made bad decisions, but Ive learned to forgive myself, and so should you... because no one knows the amount of cortisol, anxiety, panic ,and self doubt you were under whilst taking those decisions. Perhaps your choice were the best choices for what you knew them to be at the time.

Edit : quite frankly I feel like my response might be off topic , but I'm still leaving it with hopes that the main point of it gets across : it's never entirely your fault, and it's okay to feel sorry for yourself sometimes.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I had lamented the loss of my youth at a very young age, and the cycle only kept repeating itself because I was confined by new mistakes that I believed were impossible to live with, so I didn't try. When I get over one, another begins... Now I'm in my late 20's and my options are now extremely limited if I were to continue to remain. The one thing positive that I did have, school, is now nosediving into failure because of my suicidal intentions. I'm just fed up with the cycle of terrible disappointment and have lost my will to fight it anymore.

 

[Final Escape]

You just described my life. Same here. We have been brainwashed and propagandized so that's part of it too. This system is not designed to maximize opportunity for most people to be able to succeed. It's designed to disadvantage as many people as possible and to enslave u into debt.

 

[Marctic]

I feel the same. Wasted so much time stuck in this flat doing absolutely nothing. Just watching tv and sleeping. Letting my anxiety keep me confined within four walls. If I could go back in time I would do every single thing differently but now i am afraid it's too late to make changes...

Sometimes I get a little scared of how much I can relate with some comments

 

[Edward1]

Even worse for me. I struggled through the system and made it. I then worked hard at destroying everything I'd achieved in 1 short year. I've impressed even myself. That's good going.

 

[Sensei]

I've wasted my formative years too. I know it's a cliché, but we have to do the best we can with what's left. There's no other way.

 

[WaitingAround2Die]

Even worse for me. I struggled through the system and made it. I then worked hard at destroying everything I'd achieved in 1 short year. I've impressed even myself. That's good going.

That sounds so familiar.

I did well academically, struggled professionally, and this year has been a disaster. Hence my obsession with CTB.

Though I also spend a lot of time ruminating on where it all went wrong...

 

[Mr2005]

The passage of time can be so hard to accept. It's so hard to accept that I let my formative years slip through my fingers in such unrewarding ways... I now have absolutely nothing, not even capital to build ANY kind of future on as it stands... All of that time, all of those opportunities are GONE and my deeds have been engraved in stone.
I will never get that time back, I will never get another chance.

Those things that I did define me, eternally. ​

An entire life gone to waste, for no reason...​

This is me