Story I was too optimistic

[caliban]

I had the opportunity to kill myself, but I choose not to because I felt that there is a chance that my life will take a better turn. I thought that I might find what I was yearning for all my life. A feeling I can't explain. However I had to realise that it's just a fairy tail. Some people have the blessing of finding euphoria in their life but most of us aren't among them.
I wish I would ended it that day. I wasn't strong enough and false believes kept the hope in me. My life feels life a fever dream since than, a pointless epilogue of my life.

I'm not against living. I think that life can be a beautiful thing. I am so happy for all the people finding love and happiness. I got the destiny of going with catharsis. I hope I can end it with dignity.

Maybe in another life..