Don't beat yourself up too much over this. Maybe they're beating themselves up thinking they could've done more to save/help you too, you never know.
FYI, I've had people hurt me pretty good in the past and I never felt like they were my trauma either (sorry, not saying you're wrong to think this, just that I think you're putting way too much burden on yourself that's simply not there). We all survive things in life, we all move on, maybe we think about things years later about what we went through but the human soul perseveres so much, we don't ever forget but we store it in the back of our subconscious to remind ourselves (as proof) that we're not as fragile as we think we are.
I went to a LOT of therapy in the past, had an amazing therapist, did the work. All I can tell you is this: You might've hurt someone but you didn't ruin their life, not by a long shot. Yeah, they might've felt pretty shitty and had some sleepless nights, heartache, sadness but you didn't crush them. We think we crushed people though because our own guilt, for lack of a better analogy, slaps us around pretty good as a lesson not to do it again.
Forgive yourself now... you said what you needed to say to them, now the hard part remains: Forgiveness of yourself. You'll def have times where you're mad, sad, regretful, feeling stupid, anxious etc. Let is all happen and then, when you're feeling more clear about things, say to yourself: I human and I'm learning to be human.
