I was supposed to ctb the 30th

[Notaname]

I planned to heavily disassociate with drugs and ctb. I did the drugs, but I had eaten some food that just really sat wrong in my stomach and compounded with the slight nausea I normally get from them. I spent all night just shaking and dry heaving. Couldn't bring myself to ctb. I'm late on rent. My internet is going to get shut off soon I think. Power will go the 15th or so. Phone already shut off. I planned to be dead now. I'm not and now I'm even worse. Maybe this will give me the push I needed. The reason I did the things that put me here was because I figured it would motivate me to ctb. I either need to ctb or just brute force my way through life, I'm at that inflection point rn I guess...

 

[2messdup]

I planned to heavily disassociate with drugs and ctb. I did the drugs, but I had eaten some food that just really sat wrong in my stomach and compounded with the slight nausea I normally get from them. I spent all night just shaking and dry heaving. Couldn't bring myself to ctb. I'm late on rent. My internet is going to get shut off soon I think. Power will go the 15th or so. Phone already shut off. I planned to be dead now. I'm not and now I'm even worse. Maybe this will give me the push I needed. The reason I did the things that put me here was because I figured it would motivate me to ctb. I either need to ctb or just brute force my way through life, I'm at that inflection point rn I guess...

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with so much right now and that it's so difficult in every way. Whatever happens I'll be thinking of you

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

May I ask what's your method?

 

[Notaname]

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

May I ask what's your method?

internet got cut off literally like 30 min ago but I had just enough to pay it. inert gas.