Venting i was sexually assaulted by my best friend

[mittymittens]

someone who was my bestest friend at the time, someone who i thought about like a sister
she knew i liked someone else but she still did it
i couldn't stop it it was over the summer and i was home alone she came over and did things i didn't want her to do
i was scared to speak up because she's incredibly sensitive and it would make things awkward as her parents just dropped her off and she can't drive on her own so she would've just been stuck w me
i didn't know what to do so i just let her do it
i regret it so much even months later
the thought of getting into a relationship and doing those same things w another person just disgusts me now

i remember lying to my other best friend (said person i was crushing on) at the time because we were in a trio and i told him it was consensual to avoid more drama that our trio already had

i came forward months later and told him the truth yet he dropped me but not her
he still hangs out with her. someone who sexually assaulted me, a sexual assaulter

it makes me so depressed and so angry i really liked him but i can't help but hate him and her and myself and i can't stop thinking about this shit i just want to disappear

 

[neurotic]

People can be so cruel. She ruined so many things for you with no justice afterwards. I hope you can find some type of peace soon. I wish you the best.

 

[Ashu]

someone who was my bestest friend at the time, someone who i thought about like a sister
she knew i liked someone else but she still did it
i couldn't stop it it was over the summer and i was home alone she came over and did things i didn't want her to do
i was scared to speak up because she's incredibly sensitive and it would make things awkward as her parents just dropped her off and she can't drive on her own so she would've just been stuck w me
i didn't know what to do so i just let her do it
i regret it so much even months later
the thought of getting into a relationship and doing those same things w another person just disgusts me now

i remember lying to my other best friend (said person i was crushing on) at the time because we were in a trio and i told him it was consensual to avoid more drama that our trio already had

i came forward months later and told him the truth yet he dropped me but not her
he still hangs out with her. someone who sexually assaulted me, a sexual assaulter

it makes me so depressed and so angry i really liked him but i can't help but hate him and her and myself and i can't stop thinking about this shit i just want to disappear

You shouldn't hate yourself. What you did made complete sense in your situation. If it now seems to have been a mistake, you made it out of love, and such mistakes are really no mistakes at all.

 

[feder]

someone who was my bestest friend at the time, someone who i thought about like a sister
she knew i liked someone else but she still did it
i couldn't stop it it was over the summer and i was home alone she came over and did things i didn't want her to do
i was scared to speak up because she's incredibly sensitive and it would make things awkward as her parents just dropped her off and she can't drive on her own so she would've just been stuck w me
i didn't know what to do so i just let her do it
i regret it so much even months later
the thought of getting into a relationship and doing those same things w another person just disgusts me now

i remember lying to my other best friend (said person i was crushing on) at the time because we were in a trio and i told him it was consensual to avoid more drama that our trio already had

i came forward months later and told him the truth yet he dropped me but not her
he still hangs out with her. someone who sexually assaulted me, a sexual assaulter

it makes me so depressed and so angry i really liked him but i can't help but hate him and her and myself and i can't stop thinking about this shit i just want to disappear

Those people don't deserve you at all, maybe he did you a favor by dropping you. I'm sure you will find someone better who would never do something like that. Hoping you can find the strength to recover somehow even though it's hard. My heart goes out to you.

 

[AllFoxedOut]

I had something similar happen to me. Don't regret how you reacted, your mind did it to survive the experience. I know it's a humiliating response but it's part of the fight/flight/freeze.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

You were sexually by a girl?? Are you a girl or a guy???…. Sorry OP this sounds terrible and I can only apologise for you to have gone through something like that and you didn't need to lie to the other best friend saying it was consensual as it would have made things worse (two huge lies lead to deadly consequences)….You should have just just been honest….

You didn't need to feel ashamed as you did nothing wrong and no you didn't need to do things you didn't want that person to do. If the other person dropped her but not you then that's good ( I do remember having actually gone something like this, this guy I knew lied about me sleeping with him to another girl who had said she would never do anything to hurt and betray me as I was her best friend and I wasn't aware of everything she had done at the time ) when I did find out everything she had done I called her and we had a huge argument and I told her I didn't want to speak to her ever again that I even blocked her and she ended up sending me emails later because she had been blocked from my phone) But this girl had said a lot of bad things about this other guy to me and there was a lot of back stabbing of another at the time. The guy also said bad things about this girl to me ( I heard they are still "friends") but I know what they did to one another. Even the male friend was saying to me you are not "avatar" but beautiful only last year (still sneakily dissing her looks) and the only reason why they continue being friends was the guy was denying ever saying bad things about this girl to her ( even though that wasn't true, he lied to her) (she told me this)… Him and his wife even lied to this girl to make it look like I was jealous of her ( which was not true because he and my other friends at the time had expressed to me on how much they hated her and how ugly she was on different occasions) …

But anyway coming to your story I don't think you should be concerned about their friendship at all as long as you told her the truth, that's the most important thing. Having read your story I can understand why you lied about that because there was no malice behind it so you shouldn't feel bad about it even it was still wrong. In my case this guy lied to my mum saying that I had forced him to lie about talking to my relatives "two siblings" something that caused a lot issues between me and my mum and to think he would willingly try to destroy a relationship between a mother and daughter with such a lie ( to me that's another level of cruelty).

And also this guy is lying on my name saying that I accused him of rape ( these things can't be forgiven and forgotten). I remember when I told my mum I was speaking to this guy again and she looked upset and hurt and she wasn't happy at all) and she expressed her disapproval of this.

Anyway the thing is since you didn't do anything wrong except for the lie because of shame don't blame yourself too much and just try to move on with your life. I wish you all the best in future with whatever you decide to do.

 

[mittymittens]

You were sexually by a girl?? Are you a girl or a guy???…. Sorry OP this sounds terrible and I can only apologise for you to have gone through something like that and you didn't need to lie to the other best friend saying it was consensual as it would have made things worse (two huge lies lead to deadly consequences)….You should have just just been honest….

You didn't need to feel ashamed as you did nothing wrong and no you didn't need to do things you didn't want that person to do. If the other person dropped her but not you then that's good ( I do remember having actually gone something like this, this guy I knew lied about me sleeping with him to another girl who had said she would never do anything to hurt and betray me as I was her best friend and I wasn't aware of everything she had done at the time ) when I did find out everything she had done I called her and we had a huge argument and I told her I didn't want to speak to her ever again that I even blocked her and she ended up sending me emails later because she had been blocked from my phone) But this girl had said a lot of bad things about this other guy to me and there was a lot of back stabbing of another at the time. The guy also said bad things about this girl to me ( I heard they are still "friends") but I know what they did to one another. Even the male friend was saying to me you are not "avatar" but beautiful only last year (still sneakily dissing her looks) and the only reason why they continue being friends was the guy was denying ever saying bad things about this girl to her ( even though that wasn't true, he lied to her) (she told me this)… Him and his wife even lied to this girl to make it look like I was jealous of her ( which was not true because he and my other friends at the time had expressed to me on how much they hated her and how ugly she was on different occasions) …

But anyway coming to your story I don't think you should be concerned about their friendship at all as long as you told her the truth, that's the most important thing. Having read your story I can understand why you lied about that because there was no malice behind it so you shouldn't feel bad about it even it was still wrong. In my case this guy lied to my mum saying that I had forced him to lie about talking to my relatives "two siblings" something that caused a lot issues between me and my mum and to think he would willingly try to destroy a relationship between a mother and daughter with such a lie ( to me that's another level of cruelty).

And also this guy is lying on my name saying that I accused him of rape ( these things can't be forgiven and forgotten). I remember when I told my mum I was speaking to this guy again and she looked upset and hurt and she wasn't happy at all) and she expressed her disapproval of this.

Anyway the thing is since you didn't do anything wrong except for the lie because of shame don't blame yourself too much and just try to move on with your life. I wish you all the best in future with whatever you decide to do.

well we were in a trio we were all best friends and they both were in a kind of "eh" place and at the time i didn't want to make my other best friend "dislike" or whatever he felt around her to be increased :( i know i should've told him the truth but at the time i was also convincing myself that i liked what she did and if i didn't push her away that it was consensual, after i cut her off months later thats when i realized that situation with her wasn't that good
for some reason i am concerned because he was my best friend too and he knows she hurt me but is friends with her still but i cant wrap that around my head

 

[Valky]

for some reason i am concerned because he was my best friend too and he knows she hurt me but is friends with her still but i cant wrap that around my head

Well you are not alone with that. You can't certainly know unless your directly ask him or both.
People can be cruel. I am sorry about what happened to you :/

 

[FuneralCry]

It's awful how humans create so much suffering in this world and can make existing much worse for other people, existence truly is so hellish.

 

[mittymittens]

Well you are not alone with that. You can't certainly know unless your directly ask him or both.
People can be cruel. I am sorry about what happened to you :/

i know i cant know certainly but i also im too scared to walk up to him or her without causing problems... i just want to never see them again
all i know from my head is that basically "best" case scenario is that he told her my secret and she lied to him saying she didn't sexually assault me-- which is something she would obviously lie about because its a crime and he believes her more cause its easier to believe that its a lie i guess

worst(?) case is that he didnt say anything, he kept it a secret and yet still interacts with her and able to laugh and they interact with each other on social media, last night was the worst i shouldnt have done that it hurt looking at that with them joking around like its normal
its worst case for me because it shows to me he is an awful person that doesn't take sexual abuse seriously which scares me because he was my best friend after all we were very close so this hurts A LOT

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

i know i cant know certainly but i also im too scared to walk up to him or her without causing problems... i just want to never see them again
all i know from my head is that basically "best" case scenario is that he told her my secret and she lied to him saying she didn't sexually assault me-- which is something she would obviously lie about because its a crime and he believes her more cause its easier to believe that its a lie i guess

worst(?) case is that he didnt say anything, he kept it a secret and yet still interacts with her and able to laugh and they interact with each other on social media, last night was the worst i shouldnt have done that it hurt looking at that with them joking around like its normal
its worst case for me because it shows to me he is an awful person that doesn't take sexual abuse seriously which scares me because he was my best friend after all we were very close so this hurts A LOT

How do you even know what they were joking around … who is telling you these things???

Do you have any other mutual friends in common that's passing out information to you ???

well we were in a trio we were all best friends and they both were in a kind of "eh" place and at the time i didn't want to make my other best friend "dislike" or whatever he felt around her to be increased :( i know i should've told him the truth but at the time i was also convincing myself that i liked what she did and if i didn't push her away that it was consensual, after i cut her off months later thats when i realized that situation with her wasn't that good
for some reason i am concerned because he was my best friend too and he knows she hurt me but is friends with her still but i cant wrap that around my head

Friends are full of drama OMG … it's always the backstabbing and gossiping of one another and making fun of one another behind each other's back I guess that's the kind of "eh" place you are referring to??? Please correct me if I'm wrong, if my assumption is wrong then I can only apologise.

Would you consider someone that makes fun of your looks a "best friend"??? Because personally I would never knowingly no … Unless if I'm not aware of it..

I'm just asking because that's the case for the two besties that I know and even the other bestie was sneakily dissing the other bestie to me by saying "you are not avatar, you are beautiful" this avatar name is the name he used to refer to her.

Knowing her personality she would start calling him names like "ugly motherf?cker" like she used to call him to me and even making fun of him for referring himself as James Bond ( she said he wishes he looked like him) - All this is so toxic to me and I'm so glad I'm not part of it…

I hope my story will inspire you to stay away from toxic people.

 

[mittymittens]

How do you even know what they were joking around … who is telling you these things???

Do you have any other mutual friends in common that's passing out information to you ???

no on their social media i never really checked them never ever since i cut them off but i guess i caved in at night
they joke around like they are friends
i know their social media because we followed/interacted with eachother online too for a long time before the fallout

the best/worst case scenarios are just speculations in my head that makes the msot sense in my head

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

no on their social media i never really checked them never ever since i cut them off but i guess i caved in at night
they joke around like they are friends
i know their social media because we followed/interacted with eachother online too for a long time before the fallout

the best/worst case scenarios are just speculations in my head that makes the msot sense in my head

Oh I see, my advice is please stop checking their social media, I know sometimes we can be a bit curious about what people we used to hang out with are up to but I think it's best if you if you do not check.

 

[mittymittens]

How do you even know what they were joking around … who is telling you these things???

Do you have any other mutual friends in common that's passing out information to you ???


Friends are full of drama OMG … it's always the backstabbing and gossiping of one another and making fun of one another behind each other's back I guess that's the kind of "eh" place you are referring to??? Please correct me if I'm wrong, if my assumption is wrong then I can only apologise.

Would you consider someone that makes fun of your looks a "best friend"??? Because personally I would never knowingly no … Unless if I'm not aware of it..

I'm just asking because that's the case for the two besties that I know and even the other bestie was sneakily dissing the other bestie to me by saying "you are not avatar, you are beautiful" this avatar name is the name he used to refer to her.

Knowing her personality she would start calling him names like "ugly motherf?cker" like she used to call him to me and even making fun of him for referring himself as James Bond ( she said he wishes he looked like him) - All this is so toxic to me and I'm so glad I'm not part of it…

I hope my story will inspire you to stay away from toxic people.

i read your story and i am so sorry that happened to u! i dont get why people cant just be nice :( !!
its sad because in my story i guess i didnt see them as toxic, they were my bestest friends ever
i may make another post explaining the whole situation in more detail if anyone want to hear this was more of just a venty ish post cause i want to hear mroe thoughts on it !! i dont know if anyone wuld be interest tho :[ but !! everyone here seems so nice and on other sites i was just ignored

 

[Sweet Tart]

I'm sorry the third person in your trio seems to be ignoring that the SA happened and is still hanging out with the abuser. I don't want to make assumptions about him but from what you said, he doesn't sound like a safe person to be close with. I'm sorry that his inability to be a supportive friend came to light in response to you trying to deal with SA. People show their limitations at the worst times.

 

[mittymittens]

I'm sorry the third person in your trio seems to be ignoring that the SA happened and is still hanging out with the abuser. I don't want to make assumptions about him but from what you said, he doesn't sound like a safe person to be close with. I'm sorry that his inability to be a supportive friend came to light in response to you trying to deal with SA. People show their limitations at the worst times.

YEAH ! it just sucks... alot because we were all best friends. especially me and said third person, i was in love with him at some point and i think he had something with me too but the drama w the trio ruined everything espeicaly when the fallout happened
things got awkward between me and third person and i guess we drifted while third person and my sexual abuser i guess were friends again
he and my sexual abuser are now in the smame friendgroup which confuses me even more
i may go into more detail in another post

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

i read your story and i am so sorry that happened to u! i dont get why people cant just be nice :( !!
its sad because in my story i guess i didnt see them as toxic, they were my bestest friends ever
i may make another post explaining the whole situation in more detail if anyone want to hear this was more of just a venty ish post cause i want to hear mroe thoughts on it !! i dont know if anyone wuld be interest tho :[ but !! everyone here seems so nice and on other sites i was just ignored

If the "eh" had to do with gossiping and back stabbing one another then you are well rid of them and please don't let any of those reel you in with fake apologies of how they miss the "friendship" look ahead and never look back.

Let them be smiling to each other whilst calling each other horrible names behind each others back! You are well rid of them.

 

[Readytogo246]

What a bummer and downward spiral. You are better than their deceptions and lies. Try to disengage from their media sites and leave them behind. You deserve better. Cry it out and then move the energy of empty into a new perspective where you value you.

 

[mittymittens]

What a bummer and downward spiral. You are better than their deceptions and lies. Try to disengage from their media sites and leave them behind. You deserve better. Cry it out and then move the energy of empty into a new perspective where you value you.

i did try and do that for months and i just did it once last night but i don't plan on doing it ever again it's so upsetting

If the "eh" had to do with gossiping and back stabbing one another then you are well rid of them and please don't let any of those reel you in with fake apologies of how they miss the "friendship" look ahead and never look back.

Let them be smiling to each other whilst calling each other horrible names behind each others back! You are well rid of them.

ok so basically they didn't like each other two much because one (my other best friend at the time) saw that the other (sexual assaulter) liked me way more than him and paid more attention to me rather to him
he has awful anger issues and started showing that anger to her
he started preferring me to her, which she didn't take well either (i guess she never realized why he started sort of disliking her)
so they started like lowkey disliking eachother so i guess it wasn't really a "trio" just them with me but i gusss on the outside it prolly looked like a trio
when the fallout happened with our trio bcs the trio was stressing me out cause of this dynamic i decided to stay with the said third person because i felt like i Had to be there with him—he said he felt like he was losing everything (me i guess) so i felt bad for leaving him too
he ends up cutting her off too because i guess i was bcs i was sick of her— she did more things than sexual assault
we parted at some point because things got awkward
then fast forward i see them friends which confuses the HELL out of me because they both agreed after they cut each other apart that they don't "click with each other"??? and now they are friends