N
noname223
Angelic
- Aug 18, 2020
- 4,993
Usually I try not to come close to people here. I mean it is a suicide forum and I think the impact of losing someone can be pretty hard. I usually avoid talking to people privately. In the past I made sometimes an exceptions. Especially when people told me they are on the path of recovery. Though I had lose contact to 2-3 people. Still I usually avoid exchange too personal information.
The person said the s/he felt better than in the past. And s/he wants to avoid suicide. I could relate to that because I also want to avoid suicide. However then suddenly s/he felt way worse. We had somewhat of a connection. S/he all of a sudden had even a date when to ctb. This made me really anxious. I was not prepared for that. I was anxious. I worried a lot. But s/he seemed to be quite determined. I tried to support the person as good as possible to get better. Though the person ordered then SN. In the end it was their decision and I thought that it does not matter how I feel about it.
I was in college in a stressful time. And at the same time the whole thing happened. I was really anxious and checked the website myriad of times on the his/her date. Finally the person did not ctb. And i was really relieved. I told in the forum I was really concerned about another person in the last days (after the situation improved). And that I am really anxious about losing someone to suicide. Personally I am anxious to get traumatized by it. I think I am quite vulnerable and I have met people in clinics who were kind of traumatized because of that. I hinted I cannot go on with our close contact. The whole thing that happened showed me how tough it must be to lose someone. Even though you only know the person online.
I never had the courage to speak to the person how much I cared about him/her afterwards. But I hope s/he knew it. Our contact got less. Since this incident I try even more not to develop a deep bond to someone on here. It was a frightening experience. The person has left the forum in the end. On the road of recovery. I am glad about that. I hope I did not made the person very sad when I decreased the contact.
I felt paralyzed to talk to the person about it in detail. On the one hand I wanted contact though on the other hand I was really shocked how much this affected me.
Have you experienced something similar? The lesson I have learned is not too come to people on here. I think I am quite unstable and things could get a lot worse soon. And this probably applies to a lot of people here.
The person said the s/he felt better than in the past. And s/he wants to avoid suicide. I could relate to that because I also want to avoid suicide. However then suddenly s/he felt way worse. We had somewhat of a connection. S/he all of a sudden had even a date when to ctb. This made me really anxious. I was not prepared for that. I was anxious. I worried a lot. But s/he seemed to be quite determined. I tried to support the person as good as possible to get better. Though the person ordered then SN. In the end it was their decision and I thought that it does not matter how I feel about it.
I was in college in a stressful time. And at the same time the whole thing happened. I was really anxious and checked the website myriad of times on the his/her date. Finally the person did not ctb. And i was really relieved. I told in the forum I was really concerned about another person in the last days (after the situation improved). And that I am really anxious about losing someone to suicide. Personally I am anxious to get traumatized by it. I think I am quite vulnerable and I have met people in clinics who were kind of traumatized because of that. I hinted I cannot go on with our close contact. The whole thing that happened showed me how tough it must be to lose someone. Even though you only know the person online.
I never had the courage to speak to the person how much I cared about him/her afterwards. But I hope s/he knew it. Our contact got less. Since this incident I try even more not to develop a deep bond to someone on here. It was a frightening experience. The person has left the forum in the end. On the road of recovery. I am glad about that. I hope I did not made the person very sad when I decreased the contact.
I felt paralyzed to talk to the person about it in detail. On the one hand I wanted contact though on the other hand I was really shocked how much this affected me.
Have you experienced something similar? The lesson I have learned is not too come to people on here. I think I am quite unstable and things could get a lot worse soon. And this probably applies to a lot of people here.