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deathenvoy

Experienced
Mar 29, 2019
215
and I am feeling worse than before therapy. Therapist told me that I am so disturbed that she don't how did I function till now and that there are high chances I will kill myself in future. So here I am waiting for N to arrive. Years of social isolation made me a wreck - I am 31 and my social skills are at level of teenager. My social phobia never has been worse - I can barely go outside house. I was functioning my entire life by suppressing my emotions and when I stopped doing that everything went to shit.
 
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Ashpac

Ashpac

Lost and always will be.
Jul 22, 2018
795
That sucks. Sorry you have had to go through all of that.

How did it feel ordering N, did you feel some sense of relief and happiness? knowing you wont be suffering anymore.

I hope soon your pain comes to an end.
 
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JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
991
I'm the same way with regards to being socially isolated and having social phobia. I also rarely leave the house and lack social skills. I sympathize with what you're going through. I now feel that ending it is my only solution, since I'm too far gone now.
 
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Jean Améry

Enlightened
Mar 17, 2019
1,098
and I am feeling worse than before therapy. Therapist told me that I am so disturbed that she don't how did I function till now and that there are high chances I will kill myself in future. So here I am waiting for N to arrive. Years of social isolation made me a wreck - I am 31 and my social skills are at level of teenager. My social phobia never has been worse - I can barely go outside house. I was functioning my entire life by suppressing my emotions and when I stopped doing that everything went to shit.

It does not suprise me you actually got worse by accepting their so called 'help': that is an all too common side-effect of their 'treatments' sadly.

Your therapist actually told you you have a good chance of dying by suicide? Might aswell hand you a loaded gun while they're at it.

I don't get why and how these so called 'professionals' act in such a completely ridiculous and irresponsible way. Not to mention how they get away with it but of course in psychiatry/the mental health system there are not standards and everything goes. This is despicable.
 
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Alec

Alec

Wizard
Apr 22, 2019
681
and I am feeling worse than before therapy. Therapist told me that I am so disturbed that she don't how did I function till now and that there are high chances I will kill myself in future. So here I am waiting for N to arrive. Years of social isolation made me a wreck - I am 31 and my social skills are at level of teenager. My social phobia never has been worse - I can barely go outside house. I was functioning my entire life by suppressing my emotions and when I stopped doing that everything went to shit.
This is me too. I have no idea how to talk/act/function around other humans. I just want to be shut in my room forever and never going out of my house. I've spent so many years isolating myself I now am terrified to even say hello and just simply don't even know how to have relationship of any kind with anyone. That's part of why I'm here too. For the life that I want I have to be social and if I can't it means I can't have the life that I want, and if not that life then I don't want any, it hurts too much and I could never be even a little bit content with anything else. So I'd rather die than live that life.
 
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