262653
Cluesome
- Apr 5, 2018
- 1,733
I wasn't sure whether to post this on Suicide Discussion or Recovery since it touches both, so Offtopic it is. Neutral ground accepts everyone with hands wide open.
I was looking for what turned out to be called bumper plates, to store them in a case and get around 35kg's worth of mass, to counterweight my body for hanging method.
I was also trying to develop mindfulness habit, or stillness, or whatever. Something to prevent unnecessary harmful thoughts from happening behind my awareness, and to reset my thought processes mid-day, similarly to what happens when we wake up.
"I wan't a barbell!" The thought came to my head in the morning, five days ago, when I was trying to focus on my breath.
I looked up for basic exercise programs, 4-5 of them to cover the vast majority of body parts, and a set of warm up exercises that I also plan do each day, maybe even twice. Everything to be performed in one room, in regular clothes, away from the sunshine and the prying eyes of people.
I had three somewhat related dreams after that day, in which I had a body that I wasn't ashamed of.
"What a convenient way to acquire the necessary means." I am that much closer to end my experience and to have a nice body. Two birds with one shovel.
Soon I bought a barbell for approximately 35 in the dollar equivalent, and yesterday I made my first deadlifts, 10kg, 5x5. Damn it feels so nice, and surreal. One exercise to cover so much muscles and ligaments. I'll get to squats once I feel like my body is recovered.
I plan to stick to barbell only for now. Might consider adding more weights once I hone my technique.
I was looking for what turned out to be called bumper plates, to store them in a case and get around 35kg's worth of mass, to counterweight my body for hanging method.
I was also trying to develop mindfulness habit, or stillness, or whatever. Something to prevent unnecessary harmful thoughts from happening behind my awareness, and to reset my thought processes mid-day, similarly to what happens when we wake up.
"I wan't a barbell!" The thought came to my head in the morning, five days ago, when I was trying to focus on my breath.
I looked up for basic exercise programs, 4-5 of them to cover the vast majority of body parts, and a set of warm up exercises that I also plan do each day, maybe even twice. Everything to be performed in one room, in regular clothes, away from the sunshine and the prying eyes of people.
I had three somewhat related dreams after that day, in which I had a body that I wasn't ashamed of.
"What a convenient way to acquire the necessary means." I am that much closer to end my experience and to have a nice body. Two birds with one shovel.
Soon I bought a barbell for approximately 35 in the dollar equivalent, and yesterday I made my first deadlifts, 10kg, 5x5. Damn it feels so nice, and surreal. One exercise to cover so much muscles and ligaments. I'll get to squats once I feel like my body is recovered.
I plan to stick to barbell only for now. Might consider adding more weights once I hone my technique.
