halfwaydown
illbeinthegarage
- Nov 6, 2021
- 22
i was doing well for a couple of days but its just hit me that in about an hour it will be 2 years ago since i found out my ex boyfriend was cheating on me for the first time. i have bpd and he was my favourite person and it broke me. i remember crying in his arms after he woke up to me having found out, begging him to love me and apologising for not being enough. i stayed with him for another year after that and even found out hed cheated again in that time which he then used to turn it around on me for not trusting him and going through his phone. i still remained his friend until i cut contact completely with him in february this year but he messaged me recently begging for me back saying he'd changed but had apparently completely forgotten he had cheated on me. he explained he had never done that so i just blocked him and moved away. but now its the anniversary of finding out and its making me feel so worthless. reminding me that im never fucking good enough for anybody and it sucks and it hurts and its enough pain being cheated on for anyone to make them want to ctb and definitely enough for someone with bpd.
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