Venting I wanted to live

[Ravaene]

I fucking wanted to live, really. I tried. I got professional help, I was looking for positive things even at my worst. I tried harder than I thought I am able to try. I tried so hard only to hear from one of my closest friends that I'm doing nothing, that my suffering is only for attention and I should "get the fuck out of everyone's lifes and stay alone with myself".

And I'm done with trying. I give up. I dunno how, when or where I'm going to ctb yet. But I'm done with that shit so called life. It's not only those friend's words that made me decide this way. I was considering for so long... But I was giving life many chances. And this was the last one.

Sorry for venting and being so pretensional, I just needed to tell that and it's the only place I can do it with no worries what people think about it. Wish me luck.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

You are right to vent here. Good luck, find peace.

 

[Jolene40]

That friend is no friend to you. They sound like the straw that broke the camels back. Cut them loose completely. I hope you find comfort either way.

 

[KN95]

I fucking wanted to live, really. I tried. I got professional help, I was looking for positive things even at my worst. I tried harder than I thought I am able to try. I tried so hard only to hear from one of my closest friends that I'm doing nothing, that my suffering is only for attention and I should "get the fuck out of everyone's lifes and stay alone with myself".

And I'm done with trying. I give up. I dunno how, when or where I'm going to ctb yet. But I'm done with that shit so called life. It's not only those friend's words that made me decide this way. I was considering for so long... But I was giving life many chances. And this was the last one.

Sorry for venting and being so pretensional, I just needed to tell that and it's the only place I can do it with no worries what people think about it. Wish me luck.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. It must feel so hopeless. But there's a lot of people on this site that can relate and some that can help.

I can't imagine why your friend would say something like that to you. I find it really hard to understand why people respond like this to people who are suffering. Your friend probably isn't a bad person, maybe just incredibly ignorant about suicide and why people resort to it.

Hope you start to feel better

 

[JadedGray]

Unless they've gone through soul crushing depression themselves, they will never understand what it's like. Sorry you had to go through that. The only thing worse than the depression itself is having to hear people tell you that you're not trying to get better.

 

[Davy]

Your "friend" is a bitch, don't be let down because of people like them.
Keep it up and don't let them win. You are trying your hardest, keep up your best and I hope one day you will find a reason in your life to live again.

 

[GeorgeJL]

I fucking wanted to live, really. I tried. I got professional help, I was looking for positive things even at my worst. I tried harder than I thought I am able to try. I tried so hard only to hear from one of my closest friends that I'm doing nothing, that my suffering is only for attention and I should "get the fuck out of everyone's lifes and stay alone with myself".

And I'm done with trying. I give up. I dunno how, when or where I'm going to ctb yet. But I'm done with that shit so called life. It's not only those friend's words that made me decide this way. I was considering for so long... But I was giving life many chances. And this was the last one.

Sorry for venting and being so pretensional, I just needed to tell that and it's the only place I can do it with no worries what people think about it. Wish me luck.

So sorry that your friends treated you so badly. If I were you I would write a long letter detailing how they pushed you off the suicide cliff. Fuck them.

I would only mention that you should try some ketamine. As it's a psychedelic that is found to be effective for drug resistant depression.

 

[Please_stop]

I fucking wanted to live, really. I tried. I got professional help, I was looking for positive things even at my worst. I tried harder than I thought I am able to try. I tried so hard only to hear from one of my closest friends that I'm doing nothing, that my suffering is only for attention and I should "get the fuck out of everyone's lifes and stay alone with myself".

And I'm done with trying. I give up. I dunno how, when or where I'm going to ctb yet. But I'm done with that shit so called life. It's not only those friend's words that made me decide this way. I was considering for so long... But I was giving life many chances. And this was the last one.

Sorry for venting and being so pretensional, I just needed to tell that and it's the only place I can do it with no worries what people think about it. Wish me luck.

I deeply relate to this. It's so horrible when people who don't understand what you're going through and how hard you're trying get frustrated with your attitude and turn nasty.
Fuck 'em. We'll put everything we've got into trying to have a happy life, but in the end we'll do what we've gotta do.