Discussion I want write a blog post about this site (without naming it or you)

[Miserable]

Just a blog post, I'm a nobody. I'd like to try to explain the importance of places like these to people who don't understand. If you're interested in participating:

Why do you come here? (what do you get out of it)

Does it make it more or less likely that you will CTB? (could be both, explain why)

What is something you would like someone against suicide to understand?

Is there anything that could change your mind about CTB?

Hope this is okay, i imagine someone will tell me if its not

 

[Sensei]

Interesting idea. Would you prefer long or short answers?

 

[Miserable]

Interesting idea. Would you prefer long or short answers?

longer and more nuanced the better, but whatever you feel comfortable with

 

[Lostandfound7]

Hey love...it might b more effective if u first open up n tell ppl ur responses to ur questions first..then they'll likely b more inclined to respond..♡

Ps. U are a somebody. Lol

 

[Oyoy]

Suicide should be legal to prevent the damage that attempts can create. Sorry this isn't longer. I'm way too sad to write about the pain of wanting to die. This sucks.

 

[Miserable]

Hey love...it might b more effective if u first open up n tell ppl ur responses to ur questions first..then they'll likely b more inclined to respond..♡

Ps. U are a somebody. Lol

Good point.

Why do you come here? (what do you get out of it)
I come here most of all because I can openly talk about what I feel instead of having to hide my suicidal thoughts. Talking about it elsewhere, it either gets shut down, gets you in trouble (I've had the police at my door many times) or just gets dismissed. I also gain a sense of control and power by learning about methods and in a strange way this gives me the comfort to keep going because I know there are options to end it.

Does it make it more or less likely that you will CTB? (could be both, explain why)
Because I'm much more knowledgable on methods, I am overall more likely but by being here I'm a lot less likely to want to because I have a place to vent. I've also found that hearing about other people CTB or getting close to, my instinct is to not want them too, and its given me new perspectives in my own life.

What is something you would like someone against suicide to understand?
That not every life is worth living. That we live in a society, one we've created collectively, where many of us are just unhappy all the time and in pain every moment of the day. If there is no REAL help for us, than give us the opportunity to die in peace and legalize euthanasia for the mentally ill.

Is there anything that could change your mind about CTB?
I have BPD traits and I feel a lot less suicidal when I'm in a relationship and feel love. That would make a huge difference for me but I've tried and failed over and over again. I simply don't have a real self and everything I want to do is based on what my SO wants. Unfortunately, they get fed up of that, so I'm always stuck.

 

[I’mDone]

Great idea and I applaud your desire to make people understand our point of view.

 

[Mistake of Nature]

Really good idea! I'll be interested to read the responses of others. Here are mine:

Why do you come here? (what do you get out of it)
I come here to be around like-minded people. More specifically, to be around those who are pro-choice when it comes to CTB and who may have had similar experiences in life. It's a very supportive environment where I feel able to openly express my thoughts about CTB without fear of getting reported. I also use this site to become more educated about CTB methods.

Does it make it more or less likely that you will CTB? (could be both, explain why)
Neither. My decision to CTB or not won't be influenced by this site. This place doesn't encourage CTB but it also doesn't explicitly discourage it in the typical way that other online communities do (e.g., platitudes such as "Suicide is never the answer" or "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"). This neutral and accepting stance is empowering and provides me with a strong sense of agency.

What is something you would like someone against suicide to understand?
I would like them to understand that the choice to live or die is the most intensely personal and private decision a person can make, and that we all deserve the freedom to make that choice. It's fine if they are "pro-life" or "against suicide", but it's not okay to force your beliefs on others. I want them to understand that CTB is sometimes a very logical and mathematical decision. I'd also like them to know that when it comes to helping suicidal people explore other, non-fatal solutions, it is critical to provide supportive and non-judgmental listening.

Is there anything that could change your mind about CTB?
No. The problems that I have with my life are impossible to resolve. I'm one of those cases where a cost/benefit analysis would show that it makes perfect sense for me to CTB. Unfortunately for me, my SI and fear of CTB are very stubborn and strong, but if I ever CTB, that could be at least delayed if I had meaningful full-time employment, lived in my own place and were more independent, and had strong relationships with friends/a partner.

 

[tooStupidForExitBag]

Why do you come here? (what do you get out of it)
I come here to be able to talk about my thoughts with people who understand that CTB is a perfectly valid option. It really helps me consider my situation and my options more carefully, without any judgement. Other user's posts also help me see things from a different perspective and help me gain insight that I lacked before. It's simply a good outlet since I can't talk about these things with anyone in my real life.

Does it make it more or less likely that you will CTB? (could be both, explain why)
That's hard to say. This forum has provided me with more in-depth information about different suicide methods, but I did find the PPH and other sources before joining the forum. This forum has helped me structure my thoughts, unsure if this has brought me further away or closer to CTB. But whichever option I do choose, be that CTB or not, this forum will have helped me come to peace with that option.

What is something you would like someone against suicide to understand?
That suicide can be a very rational option. No one that has ever CTBed wanted to continue living their current life. Forcing them to continue living for the possibility of a better life is simply selfish, and this possibility sometimes doesn't even exist. To CTB is not the cowards way out, it takes an extreme amount of determination to do.

Is there anything that could change your mind about CTB?
I don't think I'll ever change my mind about CTBing being the right thing for me at this moment, that doesn't mean that I'll definitely CTB however. From a logical point of view, I definitely want to CTB, but logic isn't enough for me to overcome my emotional attachment to life. I may eventually find the strength to CTB, or I may choose to continue living; even if I achieved my perfect dream life, I'd still look back at this moment thinking that I should've died.

 

[Iamnotperminant92]

Why do you come here? (what do you get out of it) I haven't been here that long, but I originally came here for methods. I signed up and read a number of threads and I saw there was quite a lot of empathy and people relating to each other. This is my first time in a community of this kind. I didn't feel safe bringing this up to others beyond a 'yeah things really suck sometimes' and I was afraid of the deer-in-headlights kind of response where people just use the stock responses when I'm really just in a black mood as I have been the afternoon I found this place.

Does it make it more or less likely that you will CTB? (could be both, explain why) It is hard to say really. CTB is kind of a safety blanket for me. It's not something to be shamed of. Since CTB is an option on the table, and there are safe ways to do it with dignity - I'm less likely to do so impulsively. I can plan CTB for next Saturday rain or shine if I wanted to. I'm probably less likely to do so if I have plans or commitments that come up after I make any plan to CTB. Think of it as procrastination of a voluntary plan which you're not accountable to do.

What is something you would like someone against suicide to understand? The instinct to not want someone to CTB is understandable and natural but it's not up to us to make that decision for them. I've read others here stating they didn't want someone to go (and some felt guilty about not wanting to) but supported them anyway. I'd ask that they try to understand if their resistance comes from instinct or logic.

Is there anything that could change your mind about CTB? It's quite hard to say but most likely not. 'Hope' is not a magic word for me right now. I care about what's in the moment.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Why do you come here? (what do you get out of it): I come here to discuss a variety of topics. I have been suicidal since I was 14, I'm now 30 and this is the first time I've been able to openly and feel discuss those feelings without fear. I also come here to support others who are suffering.

Does it make it more or less likely that you will CTB? (could be both, explain why): The truth is, this site and its members have saved me numerous times. I would have been gone by now if it wasn't for this site. Judt having somewhere to discuss these feelings is an immense relief and help. Knowing others feel the same way and can relate.

What is something you would like someone against suicide to understand?: That it's not for them to understand, but we can't all be saved. It's a personal choice not to be dictated by anyone else. It's not a decision that's come to lightly, it takes time, planning, endless tears and fear.

Is there anything that could change your mind about CTB?: If I could recover from my mental illness brought on as a result of childhood abuse. If I could patch my life back up from the destruction being mentally ill has caused then maybe.

 

[Living sucks]

Why do you come here? (what do you get out of it)
I am dying from multiple chronic illnesses that have debilitated my body, my stomach, intestines, immune system, nervous system, and left me battling severe malabsorption, Lyme, viruses, RSD, and everything else under the sun... all from a nerve block.

Does it make it more or less likely that you will CTB? (could be both, explain why)
Neither.. I was simply looking for a peaceful painless method.

What is something you would like someone against suicide to understand?
I was against suicide when I was healthy, I felt it was a cowardly way out and that no pain could be that bad to end your life and hurt others, but now that I'm suffering in agony everyday, physically and mentally as I've lost everything I ever was with my health, that suicide takes huge courage and even though it devastates those who love you, it is sometimes the only option for the sufferer.

Is there anything that could change your mind about CTB?
If I could magically get my health back even remotely close to endure, I would not ctb. This is not something I want to do, i would have chosen eternal life if offered when I was healthy bcuz I loved living... but the pain is much greater than any joy I know.