the psychiatrists I had that were good and helped me gave me options. I was there of my own choice looking for help. The first one, I was really scared of trying psych meds, I was against it bc of things other ppl said about it (ppl who had never taken psych meds). She wasn't forceful at all, she was going to respect my boundaries, but she still gave me information that made me feel comfortable trying something I was against.
She told me about studies in which primates who lacked physical comfort as babies had a different chemical makeup in their brains than their peers when they grew up. She basically let me know that it was ok to try medication, and it made sense that I was depressed and needed extra help. And she let me know to stop taking the medication if I felt any bad side effects. I eventually went off them bc I didn't like the side effects and I realized it was the birth control that was making me more depressed than ever, so I went off of that instead.
The other one who helped me a lot just educated me about the different medications that were available to me. He told me about several types, their pros and cons, and asked me which ones I wanted to try. He said the same thing, if I had any problems with the meds to stop taking them and call him. This was the one who helped me find the right medication for me. I came back to him several times trying to find the right meds. Every time I didn't like the side effects of one, he gave me a new list of meds with pros and cons. He just trusted me that I knew my body and my experience and was actually surprised I kept coming back bc he said most ppl gave up after so many wrong fits lol. But we eventually found the right fit and it kept me from wanting to ctb for 10 years.
there's a difference between experimenting on someone and assisting ppl who come to you seeking a specific type of help. It's a matter of consent. And all medications, psychological or otherwise, are somewhat of a gamble in that everyone's bodies are unique and react to different medications differently. You just have to try something and see how your body reacts. My body reacts horribly to things like advil and tylenol. Doesn't mean anyone was "experimenting" on me by suggesting I try them for a headache or whatever.
anyways OP, you got this <3
and sometimes things come up in life and you need to take a pause on academics or your goals change (that happened to me). It's ok to pause or change your goals if they no longer work for you. I'm proud of you no matter what happens