rotten
Student
- Apr 14, 2021
- 116
Sorry if this is messy I can't really think straight rn.
Deep down I know I should be used to all the violence that happens in this house. But of course it never works out that way. She started her bullshit again yesterday and I seen her hit him with a variety of different objects. Then she grabbed the shotgun and they were struggling over it for a bit. I didn't bother getting out of the way because I wanted it to go off on me and I still do. Nothing will ever change, just because I wasn't the target this time means nothing. I feel sick at the sight of everything they do.
I'm tired. I don't want to do this anymore. I've wasted years. My birthday is in a few weeks and I don't think I want to be around for it. I have three people I worry about hurting, my bf and my two friends. I know it's fucked up but I try to push them out of my mind. I know there's no way to convince them that they really did everything they could.
Deep down I know I should be used to all the violence that happens in this house. But of course it never works out that way. She started her bullshit again yesterday and I seen her hit him with a variety of different objects. Then she grabbed the shotgun and they were struggling over it for a bit. I didn't bother getting out of the way because I wanted it to go off on me and I still do. Nothing will ever change, just because I wasn't the target this time means nothing. I feel sick at the sight of everything they do.
I'm tired. I don't want to do this anymore. I've wasted years. My birthday is in a few weeks and I don't think I want to be around for it. I have three people I worry about hurting, my bf and my two friends. I know it's fucked up but I try to push them out of my mind. I know there's no way to convince them that they really did everything they could.